SLEEPING AT LAST | bajifuyu

thirty

Chifuyu might be overreacting. His clammy hands stick to his pants as he rubs them over and over again—either trying to wipe the sweat accumulated on them or the habit he developed during his childhood years, stinging pain surging through them with hotness from the friction.

"No, it isn't supposed to be like this," Baji exhales, walking around for the umpteenth time.

The other captains' face contorts to a conflicted one, occasionally clicking their tongue or ruffling their hair aggressively. Every one of them tried to mask the panic on their faces—though, it cracks, exposing their dilemma at the moment, keeping a rational atmosphere around them. Chifuyu deems it useless, closer to breaking down in his feet, but he kept his cool, hiding his anxiety by rubbing his hands in the side of his pants.

Mucho clicks his tongue, "There's nothing we could do. Toman had split into two. Some men abide Peh Yan."

"Bastards don't even use their brains," Smiley howls a laugh, but the twitch on his eye was almost threatening. Even his twin, Angry, exudes such a menacing aura that brings a chill to anyone 10 feet away.

"If we can no longer convince Peh with words," Baji clenched his fists, "Let me take care of that bastard."

Chifuyu stops Baji from walking out, "Using your fist is as useless as their attempt of protesting against Mikey, Baji."

"Then, are we going to watch Toman falls before our eyes?!"

Chifuyu couldn't agree more with that statement. It might be the end for them, for Toman. Today is the day where Mikey announces his decision about Pah's situation, optimistic that he can bring everyone to a reconciliation. However, even with popped chest and broad shoulders, he couldn't stop the fire of their opposition. And Peh was the leader of the protests.

Pah's situation was the signal for other members to turn their back, waiting for a crack to bring their ulterior motives inside the gang. It no longer benefits Pah Chin, taken over by personal grudges and anger. The blond has thought that they were nothing but squished pride, inferior people chasing the high of superiority by taking others down—for this instance, taking down Draken, who opposes the idea of bailing Pah out.

"This is my fault," Mikey's voice rings in their head, "I failed as a leader to unite us as one."

"This isn't your fault, Mikey. Peh has been nothing but an asshole this whole time," Baji walks over to Mikey, patting his shoulder as a form of consoling their leader.

"Let us wait to see what Peh will do."

Chifuyu hisses as he runs his reddened hands to the cold running water, enduring the burns and shallow cuts on the surface of his palm. He had, somehow, calmed down after the meltdown that happened at the shrine, blurry in the back of his head with the anxiety that overtook his thoughts. He's all alone inside a park restroom, fixing up his swollen shaky hands and talking—convincing, rather, himself in the mirror.

"You will be okay. Everything will be alright."

He chants, shaky still with desperation in his voice. It almost resembles a prayer to his ears, if not for the constant curses that would leave his mouth. But, if he was to admit, it is a prayer, where he pours out his anxiety and delivers them over to whoever is above. As he closes his eyes and opens them to see his reflection, he couldn't help but imagine Baji in his position.

"I'm scared, Chifuyu. It's happening again."

What happened to Pah Chin is almost, frighteningly so, similar to Kazutora. Baji is yet to lose another friend, lose another founding member, and face another conflict. Chifuyu is scared too, but he had decided to do everything and be there for him. This time it's his chance to return the favor and protect Baji.

"Do it for him, Chifuyu. Be a man."

He whispers again like he had not for a thousand times, pumping up himself for his objective. When he realized how stupid he has been for half an hour standing in the stall alone and swollen from all his crying, Chifuyu laughs. He laughs like there's no tomorrow, like it's his last time, turning all his words to the bubbles erupting from his chest.

He might have lost his sanity at this point, laughing his worries away after crying all of them alone in this tiled room. He can no longer feel the discomfort of burns on his hand, pushed down deep in the back of his mind. Until a ring interrupted his moment, feeling the vibration of his phone in his pocket, fishing it out to read whoever decided to call him at this time.

Baji Keisuke.

With the brightness of his phone, a typewritten bold letter pops to the display screen of his flip, notifying him that he is yet to come home. Chifuyu fixes himself, clearing his throat before answering Baji's call. He expects strings of questions after letting it ring for quite some time, like a mother to her child who misbehaves, hilarious fiasco they always have with each other.

"Hello?" he spoke, soft and whispery, unintendedly voicing out the tiredness he felt at the moment.

With a smile on his face, Chifuyu walks out of the restroom. The air humidity welcomes him, which he blatantly expresses his repulsion, answering every question that pops out of Baji's lips. The smile on his face only grew, stretching as he takes the path home.

"Oh, you're waiting at home? Peke J is with you, you don't even have to wait for me, but I'll be there in ten."

"Come home, Chifuyu."

"I will, Kei. I'll be there. Wait for me."