Could be me

If I can't be with you

We got to the venue at around 4ish and headed in. They had to head off to sound check as soon as we got there. I sat down in the audience and watched. Ross started singing to me as he practiced, I was about to smile at him when I saw Hannah back stage staring straight at me. I sighed and got up and walked back to the dress room area. I walked around for a bit and then I saw someone. Oh my god, don't freak out. Stay calm and collected. Nicholas Petricca was right in front of me. What should I do? Should I talk to him? Can I talk to him? Am I having a panic attack? CALM DOWN!

"Hi." I said walking up to him.

"Hello..." He looked down probably to see if I had a pass and was supposed to be there or if I was a crazy fan who snuck back there. After seeing that I was all clear, he shook my hand. "Hi, I haven't seen you back here before. Are you a friend of Hannah's?"

"Oh god, no....I mean no. I'm a close friend of the Lynches."

"Okay, good." He looked around. "Because, Hannah and her friend's scare me."

"I agree." I laughed. "I'm Madi by the way."

"Oh you're the one Ross won't shut up about."

"Really?" I said smiling.

"Yeah, we wrote a couple of songs together and talked about our old works. You're basically his muse."

"I didn't know that. I mean I know he wrote one song about me. He never said it but it was implied. I mean our whole conversation was there."

"Yeah. But what happened with you two? The way he talks about you he sounds like he's still in love. I can tell you feel the same you smile every time I've mentioned him and your eyes light up when you talk about him..and this would be a good song, I should write this down."

I laughed. "It...we...we got in a lot of fights and then he didn't tell me about this tour till the day before he was leaving, not to mention our wedding was in a month but....I don't know. If I could go back and change it I would. But, he is with Hannah now and I can't do anything about it or she would....." I stopped myself.

"What? What did she say?" He said. Wow, he sounds angry.

"She would ruin my and R5's careers."

"She's always doing that." He said shaking his head. "Look, it was great talking to you but I got to head to the stage to practice. You're staying for our show right?"

"Wouldn't miss it, Nick." I said as he waved and ran back to the stage area. Time went on and everyone filed in for the concert. I waited off stage and watched R5 jam out. The crowd loved them and I can't say I didn't get a little misty eyed watching, I am so proud of how far they have come. They set up for a new song and I was excited because I haven't heard it before. Ross walked up to the mic and started talking.

"Okay guys. This next song is my favorite. We wrote it awhile back. It really relevant to my life and I really mean what I wrote. I hope you like it. Here's If I can't be with you." They started playing. "I don't wanna be famous, I don't wanna if I can't be with you. Everything I eat is tasteless, everything I see don't compare to you. Paris, Monaco, and Vegas, I'd rather say with you if I had to choose. Baby, you're the greatest and I've got everything to lose and I just wanna be with you and I can never get enough."  I felt my heart sink. This can't be about me....it has to be about Hannah...but he doesn't like Hannah....please no Ross. Then he looked over at me with his sad puppy eyes I know to well. Shit.