~Jay's POV~
I woke up today with Erica laying in my arms, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain in my heart knowing that for a while I'll be making love to her but she'll just be having sex with me. To her all of this is just sex but I think today I have to tell her that for me this is never going to be just see. I need to tell her that every time we do this I'm going to be making love to her. I looked down at her to see her beautiful green eyes start to flicker open, she laid her hand on my chest before going to get out of bed. I lightly gripped her wrist pulling her back onto the bed stopping her from going any further, she gave me a confused look before I took a deep breath.
"I need to talk to you, I need you to listen and understand what I'm trying to tell you alright?"
She nodded her head sitting back down on the bed.
"You know I'm in love with you right?"
She nodded her head letting me continue.
"I want you to know that last night it wasn't just sex to me, I know it was to you but not to me, last night I made love to you Erica. I need you to know that every time we do this I'll be making love to you, I need you to understand that to me it's never going to be just sex."
She ran her hand through her long reddish brown hair in a frustrated manner, letting out a loud sigh she looked at me.
"Then we can't do this Jay, I'm sorry but I don't need love right now. I just need sex, good hot and heavy sex if this was love for you then it's not going to work I'm sorry."
I felt my heart breaking as she stood from my bed walking out of the room and down the hall to hers, I sat there not knowing what I was supposed to do or say. I heard her on the phone with someone before I walked down the hall to her door which was slightly cracked, I could hear her conversation perfectly.
"Layla shut up and listen to me, alright."
I couldn't hear what her friend was saying because she wasn't on speaker phone.
"It was amazing alright, he's amazing, Jay's amazing, the problem is I felt something and I'm afraid of that right now I don't need love I just need sex."
Was she talking about feeling something for me that was close to love, but why would she fear that? Why would she fear love for me when she knows I already love her? I listened to the rest of the conversation to hear something that damn near shattered my heart.
"A date, with that friend of yours tonight would he really be up for that?"
She asked, before her voice filled the room once again.
"Alright good to know, does he know where I live now?"
I can't believe her, she's starting to feel something for me and yet she's still going to go out with someone else. What is with her is her having sex really helping her with her depression over my brother, her ex-husbands death?
"Yeah let him know I'll see him tonight."
Yep it obviously is, fuck my life, I walked away from the door to check on D as she walked to her closet to find something to wear for her "date" tonight. I can't believe she's doing this, I told her how I feel about her and yet she's still denying her feelings for me. I heard her shower start as I grabbed a giggling D from his crib and walked into the kitchen so I could feed him before changing his diaper. I was sitting in the kitchen when Erica came out ready to go on her date, she looked gorgeous in a light almost see through aqua blue and black dress on her feet she wore black short heel sandals with her black rose and gold jewelry set. She looked amazing, if it were up to me she wouldn't be going anywhere looking like that but according to her it's not up to anyone but her. She walked further into the kitchen giving D a hug and a kiss on the cheek, she looked at me before looking down at the ground.
"I don't know when I'm going to be home are you going to be alright with D?"
I nodded my head not speaking to her before I turned my back to her, she let out a sigh.
"Come on Jay, I told you what I needed and that I understood if you couldn't because of your feelings. You have no right to be mad at me, I told you how this was going to happen and you told me it was fine."
I knew she was right but it didn't make it hurt any less, I turned around to look at her.
"You're right you did, but that doesn't make it hurt any less Erica, I love you and the fact that you have feelings for me but you're still going out with other guy's doesn't help the situation and you know it. I know you have feelings for me you just won't do anything about it, and that's bullshit Erica."
Her eyes went wide and I knew right then that she figured out that I had been listening to her conversation with her friend.
"No Jay, what's bullshit is the fact that you listened in on a private conversation that had nothing to do with you."
"No it had everything to do with me, you said it yourself last night felt amazing, well it did for me too and the fact that you don't even care and are just going out anyway is bullshit. Give me a chance before you go off making yourself seem like a whore sleeping with a bunch of other guys. Give me the chance that Dustin thought you should give me, stop being so stubborn and let me love you because damn-it I love you bitch."
She stood there just looking at me with teary eyes, I walked towards her placing my hand on her cheek, bringing my lips down to hover above hers whispering against them.
"Let me love you the way I do."
I was about to close the space between us when the doorbell rang letting us know that her date was here for her. She let out a loud sigh before leaning her head down and turning to answer the door. I lightly gripped her wrist stopping her from going anywhere, she moved back into my chest standing on her tiptoes placing her lips next to my ear whispering to me.
"I have to go, we'll talk when I get back."
When she moved her lips from my ear she let her lips brush over my skin down to my cheek till she placed a soft kiss there. She moved out of my hold before running to the door, I heard them talking then the front door closing. I could hear a car pull out and with that I turned around thinking she was gone until I heard her voice.
"Told you we would talk when I got back."
I turned around and smiled at her I went to say something but before I could her lips were already on mine. When we pulled apart we were out of breath, we leaned our foreheads against each other.
"Alright, but if you hurt me I'll leave."
I smiled, lifting her into a spinning hug peppering kisses all over her face. Her sweet giggles and laughs filled the room until we heard something hit the floor. We both turned around remembering the little bundle of trouble just like his father sitting there in his highchair. I looked to my side and saw that this was the beginning of my future and I wouldn't want to change it for anything in this whole world.
