'HOLY SHIT!' Madalyne takes a deep breath when she realizes what just happened. She feels hot and bothered but at the same time confused; how can a stranger with whom she just made an eye contact for half a second make her this excited?
As if he jus...
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Xavier's POV
{Trigger Warning}
She doesn't love me. She never did and will never. The thought of her not loving me back makes me want to burn this whole world down. I knew falling in love would be a bad idea but I never stopped myself from it.
"Damn it!" My hand forms into a tight fist. I raise my hand to punch the wall but something prevents me from doing it. Why doesn't she love me back?
Of course she doesn't; after all because of me the last two months have been full of dilemmas. Our first interaction didn't go well and since then I cared for her and tried to make her happy so I could make up for my behavior that day.
Little did I know that I would end up getting heartbroken like a bitch. This is my first time; first time falling in love, first time making love to her, first time getting hurt. Honestly, I deserve it. I deserve pain, I deserve hate from her.
But I love her enough to not deserve her not saying it back.
'Xavier, the world doesn't work like that!' My subconscious tells me.
'So this is what feels like to be rejected' I let out a chuckle at the thought of it. Fuck my life. All my life, everyone keeps abandoning me. My parents first and now my friends and at last my love. I can't stop loving her. I won't but I won't try to win her back either.
She would be so much better without me. The agony, the torment, the misery; everything trickles in my blood at the thought of that. I wanted to give her a beautiful life but everything got demolished –because of me.
Getting out of my house, I walk up to my car to drive far far away. Not a long time ago, my angel was right here, at this very spot, standing with brimming eyes and quivering lips. I want to know what it must have felt like rejecting me.
Starting the engine, I take off out of my estate. I look out of the window –everyone seems to live the best of their life. Two girls are walking down the sidewalk and laughing at something on their phone. An old man, with a smile plastered on his face, plays in the park with two little toddlers who I assume are his grandchildren. Two boys, wearing jerseys fight over something while their teammates try to disentangle them. A group of both girls and boys sit on the grass with backpacks and books among them.
What I see next, makes me speed my girl up. A couple of our age laughs between making out, holding each other's hands and looking into each other's eyes; so in love. Something I'll never experience in my life ever again.
I don't know where I am going –just driving until my car runs out of fuel. I have nowhere to go. My friends, who I thought would never hide anything from me, would always save me from trouble –they became my trouble today. I can go to the club and fight but I don't even want to do that. I realize that I am on a highway now.
Getting out of Cambridge forever would be a good idea. Maybe go to Paris or maybe Rome. But nowhere can make it feel like home to me. My home is Madalyne just like my heart is.
