Linda's Story

Don't Take Lori Curtains To The Prom

Linda O'Shea was excited- spring was her absolute favorite time of year! And this year she had an amazing boyfriend to take her to the prom. She couldn't stop talking about it, annoying everyone around her- she was sure.

She hadn't gotten a dress yet, but she was supposed to go that on Saturday with her grandma to a nicer store. She couldn't wait! She wanted to tell Danny about it— he hadn't asked her to the prom yet, so she had been dropping subtle hints here and there. Either he was very, very dense or he was planning to ask her in an elaborate fashion.

Linda stopped dead in her tracks, his name caught in her throat. She couldn't believe what she was seeing and hearing. Her boyfriend was talking to that bimbo Laura Drapes! Or whatever the hell her name was, Linda could never remember.

"So, Lori, I was wonderin'," Danny started, all smooth and cool. It made his girlfriend's stomach lurch. "If you don't have a date yet, I'd be happy to take you to the prom."

No!

Lori smiled and giggled, making Linda roll her eyes and gag. "I'd love to go with you!" She nearly squealed.

"Great."

"But what about your girlfriend?"

"She'll understand."

"No," Linda whispered. This was not supposed to happen! He was supposed to be asking her! She was his girlfriend after all! She turned around before she did something that she was going to regret.... like slam Lori's head into a locker or castrate her boyfriend.

She cried all the way home, and no one not once asked her why she was so sad.

*********

"You know what?" Linda told herself in the mirror. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun, and she was wearing a t shirt and sweatpants. She was supposed to be at prom, in her fantastic dress. But instead, she was in her room feeling less like a princess and more like a troll. "He's not going to ruin your night. You've rented a movie, you've got cookie dough ice cream and Stork's Orange Creams, and the perfect company. You're going to enjoy it."

She did not enjoy it, and decided that night she would treat Danny like he treated her. She was tired of being walked over or tossed aside like a sock with a hole in it.

*********

"I can't believe I'm stuck in here with you," Linda groaned as she crossed her arms. "Why am I stuck in here with you?"

"I told you- the door is stuck." Danny wiggled the door knob for emphasis.

"That's great. That's really fantastic. I'm jumping for joy!"

"You don't have to be sarcastic about it."

She only huffed and rolled her eyes again, "aren't you going to get us out?"

"I would if I could, but I can't."

"Yes you can."

"What do you suggest I do? Break down the door?"

She paused, giving him a death glare, before exclaiming, "yes!"

Danny was getting frustrated with his girlfriend, who hadn't really been acting like one recently. He wondered what went wrong. "What is your problem, Linda?" He lowered his voice, "is it your time of the month?"

She looked at him, astounded. "I can't believe you just said that. That is the stupidest thing you've ever said."

"Well are you?"

She wanted to hit him. In fact, she did hit him- right on his shoulder.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You've been bitchy towards me for the last week, and I'm sick of it!"