Linda's Story

Effing Platitudes

She forced a smile at his platitudes, wanting to tell him she was so sick of hearing them. She knew all the sayings by now, and she was completely sick of them. If she heard one more person say anything about God's plan or how God works in mysterious ways, she was going to barf. She knew that what those people were saying was true, but it was the last thing she wanted to hear after getting her hopes and dreams dashed for the past twenty eight months.

Times like these, when Danny was called out in the middle of the night and she was left alone, she wanted to break something. Or more accurately, she wanted to pick up the razor and break her skin.

She knew it was her fault they couldn't have children. She dropped to her knees on the bathroom floor and cried her eyes out. It was all her fault.

**********

"Wow," Brie frowned at her best friend. "You look like shit. What happened?"

Linda sighed, "I was up all night last night and the night before with cramps. And I woke up with a migraine today."

"Cramps? Was there blood involved?"

"Yes." She bowed her head and started crying softly. She let Brie lead her to the couch. "I'm afraid I won't be very good company today, Brie. Maybe I should just go."

"No, stay. It's okay. Cry, let it out. I don't mind."

She tried to get the tears to come, but they were just stuck in her throat.

"I'm sorry, Linda. This must be really hard for you; I know how much you want children."

"I'm just so tired of this. All- all the wishing and hoping and praying, and then... nothing. I get my hopes up every month for nothing! It's just so hard."

"Are you one hundred percent sure you can't have kids?"

"Looks that way! And even if I could, I don't know if I'll be able to carry to term. I couldn't do it with Ella! And there's no way in heaven or on earth that we can afford IVF, or anything like that.... Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a mother."

"Don't say that. You'd be a Fantastic mother. Some little baby out there needs a mother-"

"Oh save it, Brie. I'm freaking sick of hearing all the effing platitudes. I get 'em from Danny and the family every single month."

"Every time?"

Linda quoted the family mockingly, "it'll happen, Linda. We're praying for it, Linda. Some baby needs your love. Pray and your prayer will be granted."

"Bullshit," Brie nearly spat. "I prayed for months bad months for Sandy, and look what happened to him! I begged God for Sandy to be at peace."

"So your prayer wasn't answered."

"Not in the slightest," she quickly turned the conversation back to her friend. "Did Danny really give you those platitudes?"

"He's always the first one to do it! While I'm having a nervous and mental breakdown from getting my period, the last thing I want to here is there's always next time!"

Brie brought Linda into a silent hug, not really knowing what to say to make her friend feel better. She did, however, know what she was going to say to Danny.

**********

"Hey! Hey you! I'm talking to you!" Brie frowned, annoyed that the person of interest wasn't turning around. She rolled her eyes- that was New York. No one payed any mind to the crazy ones.

"Danny Reagan!"

Danny turned around, surprised to see Brie crossing the street. "What?" He asked when she caught up to him.

"You're a jerk, Danny. You're a jerk, you're a jerk, you're a jerk."

"What?"

"The last thing Linda needs to hear when she gets her period is how it's all part of this big plan and she'll get a baby one way or another. No! You don't tell her that! How insensitive can you be?" She slapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey!" He protested, slightly confused by what she was doing and saying. "I wasn't insensitive."

"Oh no? Then why did she break down crying in my apartment during our lunch date? Hm? Why did she tell me that you're not helping by telling her those f***ing platitudes? You're making it worse! She doesn't need to hear those things! She needs hugs and kisses and chocolates and greasy burgers!"

"Greasy burgers?"

"Whatever the hell she happens to want- that's what you should be getting her. Not telling her things that make her want to hurt herself."

Now he was listening. "What?"

Brie crossed her arms, "you heard me. Last night, when you were called out? She cut herself. Yeah, she said that she felt you didn't care as much as she did about this."

"That's a lie! And why isn't she telling me these things?"

"Because you're at work. Duh! And you don't like to be bothered by her while you're working. Because with guys like you, work always comes first."

"Wait a minute, I never said-"

"Buy your wife some flowers and her favorite chocolates. Tell her you were jerky, and you won't do it again." She turned on her heel and left, her dark blonde hair bouncing angrily behind her.

**********

Danny grabbed Linda's hand and wordlessly led her to the bottom of the stairs. "There's something I need to show you."

"Oh, Danny, not the stairs. I can't climb them again."

"You won't have to. You can stay up there. Come on."

She reluctantly let him lead her up the stairs and into their bedroom. There was a table set up with two plates of greasy cheeseburgers and fries. The center piece was an impressive flower arrangement.

"Danny?"

"I realized that I've kind of been insensitive to you about this."

"This?" Her voice was quiet and gravelly, like she had been crying.

"Getting your period every month. I didn't stop to think about how the platitudes would make you feel. So from now on, I won't say them. I'll just hug you and bring you all the chocolates you want. I know this is hard- especially for you since you have to deal with all those nasty hormones- but... we're gonna have a baby. I know so."

"Danny-"

"That's it. That's all I'm gonna say, because you don't need platitudes. So let's eat our burgers and fries, and then I'll get the chocolate ice cream from the freezer."

"Thank you," she managed a smile. "This is really sweet." She kissed him.

*********

"Danny," Linda said as she laid in his arms later that night. "Do you really think we're going to have a kid?"

"Yes."

"But what if I can't carry to term?"

"Linda, we've been over this. We'll adopt."

"But what if-"

"Something will work out. Please, honey, stop stressing yourself out about it. We're still young, we've got time."

She didn't say anything to that, only furrowed her brow.

"Hey," he waited til she looked at him. "No matter what happens, and what the future brings, I love you."

"I love you more."

"I love you most."

It was quiet for a while before Linda asked, "Danny? Is there more ice cream? And fries? Are there more fries?"

He laughed as he playfully patted her butt. "I'll go get some more."

"Thank you," she called after him in her fake pathetic voice.

Once Danny had gone, she told herself, "you're gonna be okay. Something will work out."

And a few months later, much to her surprise, something did work out.