Strawberry Wine

thirteen

"I'm so proud of you," his mother said over the phone.

"I'm sorry for causing trouble," he half-whispered.

"No, don't," she chastised gently. "Don't. Just be healthy and study well."

He wished her goodnight and stepped out of the phone booth. The campus was silent in the night and rang with the cries of cicadas.

Jung Kook took in the University crest over the door of his new dorm. He never thought he'd be back here again. He knew it had not been easy. His old teachers had had to put in some good words. He was lucky that they like him. His mother had been very happy about it.

Just get it over with. For her sake, he had resolved to himself.

Whispers would follow him down corridors, but mostly, he was hailed a hero. A hoobae walked up to him once during lunch and said he was really cool for having participated in the protest that suspended him. He smiled awkwardly as curious eyes and half smirks turned towards his table.

The sudden attention made him feel isolated. Chae Yeon and he had a class together and he was glad for her.

Their friendship was effortless and easy, yet he was always afraid. He liked her companion and didn't want her to get hurt.

He would see her eyes cloud with confusion, sometimes maybe hurt when he'd turn down her invitation for coffee or a weekend-out.

It was not just Chae Yeon. He had resolved to lay low and get his degree quietly before making the 'great escape'. So when it came to choosing an elective course, Jung Kook opted for Fine Arts. It was probably one of the least popular elective among the students, and he was glad for it. He enjoyed staying back after class to work. He would put on some blues music and let the colors take shape in his mind. The course also made him move beyond the familiar scapes and portraits that he hadn't been able to move past. It healed him slowly without him realizing that he needed it.

"I thought I'd fine you here," said a voice from the doorway.

Jung Kook turned around to see Chae Yeon standing by the door. "Oh Hi."

"People are married to their jobs, but I never knew of a student married to their elective," she said, walking in.

He chuckled. "Why haven't you gone back yet?"

"Why, I can come and go whenever I want. Technically, we still live in a democracy."

He chuckled again. "Ok, I'm sorry."

She drew up a stool next to him. "Don't mind me. I just wanted to watch you work. I was curious about the love of your life."

"That makes me sound cooler than I actually am," he said, "But, you know a lot of great artists actually had humans as love of their life."

"Maybe they just needed a muse and not an actual lover," she suggested.

He thought about it. "Actually, you might be right. You're smart."

She scoffed. "Can't tell if you're being sarcastic."

"Why would I be?"

They said nothing for a while, while Jungkook focused on mixing colors on his palette.

"Jung Kook-ah," she said softly.

"Hmm?"

"Do you have someone else?"

Jung Kook stiffened. "What do you mean?"

"I can't reach you. You're always somewhere else."

Jung Kook put down his brush and palette. He couldn't have avoided it forever anyway.