Uncle Cas

I've wasted my nights, This Is Your last shot

Part 1: I've wasted my nights

When Castiel awoke it was to the sun glaring him in the face. He groaned and turned around, sitting up too fast and getting a serious head-rush. He grabbed his head in his hands and groaned anew, regretting the JD very much right now.

And then he remembered. Everything.

He felt nauseated and when he moved he could still feel sore and slick with John's come. He felt so disgusted he wanted to scream. Instead he just curled back down on the couch, feeling like shit.

He wanted Dean. He wanted the man's kind eyes and warm embrace but how the hell could he face him now? After he had let John, Dean's father, do something like that. Dean would never forgive him.

He pulled out his phone before he remembered that Dean wouldn't be home until the next day. He opened it anyway and to his dismay he saw he had a missed text from Dean. It turned out to be a photo of Dean standing in front of a building, looking miserable between Jo and Gabriel, both of whom obviously were trying to ruin the photo. Castiel smiled despite himself. No, he couldn't tell Dean but he needed someone. Usually John would be the one he would go to but... And there wasn't even a single missed message from John. He probably hasn't even woken up, Castiel reflected dully as he dialed the number to Crowley.

"Dove." Crowley said in way of greeting. I was just thinking brunch and guess who would call. He sounded in a good mood and Castiel hated to destroy it. God, he was so selfish.

"Fergus..." he started and it ended Crowley's monologue but he had to swallow to steady his voice.

"What is it?" Crowley asked when Castiel had been silent for too long. "What's wrong?"

Why had he called? "It's... I..."

"It's John, isn't it?" Crowley sounded angry already.

Castiel gasped a little and curled in on himself even more. "How would you know?" Maybe it had been a bad idea calling Crowley, of all people, what with his long grudge against John.

Crowley swore. "I don't know, I just assume where that moron is concerned."

"Fergus I... We..." he swallowed hard again. "We ended up in bed together."

"Why? Don't you have your lover boy?"

"I do." He couldn't be thinking about Dean now or he would really cry. He pressed the phone to his ear. "We were supposed to just sleep. I was too drunk to drive home, we were sleeping and then..."

Crowley drew a sharp breath. "He fucking raped you."

Castiel winced at the word. "He didn't rape me per say." He could hear Crowley moving in the background. "He just kind of... Pressed me down and I said no but then I just... Just lay there and let it happen."

"Yeah, that's rape love."

Castiel shook his head. "I should've stopped him."

"You shouldn't have had to!" Crowley yelled, his voice raspy from anger and Castiel winced again.

"Fergus, what do I do? What do I tell—" he stopped himself before saying Dean's name but Crowley seemed to get it anyway.

"You don't worry Cassie, I'm gonna go take care of it. You won't have to say anything to anyone."

Castiel immediately got a worrying feeling in the pit of his stomach. "What do you mean 'take care'?" he asked carefully. The damage was already done, what was there to do now?

"I'm gonna go shoot him."

Castiel felt cold all over. Crowley meant it, Castiel had no doubt. Crowley had his own laws and rules to live by and John was just dirt under Crowley's shoe. This had obviously been the drop.