Uncle Cas

Where are the plans we made for two?

Where are the plans we made for two?

The first part of the year had practically flown past. It had been a flurry of exams and homework and Mary. Lots and lots of Mary.

Every evening when Castiel returned to his and John's room she would be there and more often than not she was still there when he woke up. Their beds were too narrow to sleep three so they had resorted to pushing them together. When the dorm mistress had seen it they had had to change it back though and John had said that maybe it was for the better. He had been the one to sleep in the middle and the edges of the beds had created a crevice where he tended to slip down. It hurt his back, he explained. Castiel got that. What he didn't get was why that explanation led to John sleeping in his own bed with Mary while Castiel slept on the other side of the room, alone.

He and John still spent time alone though so he supposed he couldn't complain too much. Too bad most of that time was spent studying or eating or anything else just as friendly and definitely non-sex related. Granted, they still had sex but Mary was more often than not involved and it was starting to grate on Castiel's libido. The last times he had even turned John down and he knew that John had gone to Mary's room alone and he could only imagine so well what went on there.

They had talked about it. Or rather, they had talked about why Castiel didn't want to come with but his explanation that he simply didn't like girls didn't seem to get through to John. John thought that as long as he was there too there was no problem. Then there would be a guy there for Castiel to ogle, so what was the problem?

Castiel sighed and tossed his pen down on the desk, his half-finished homework forgotten. He and John had barely talked the last week and Castiel supposed it was his fault. He had been avoiding his boyfriend in favor of moping about their current situation. He couldn't blame John if he was getting fed up with Castiel's behavior. He would have to talk to John; it wasn't his fault that he didn't get it. Subtle hints clearly weren't his thing. If Castiel just explained that he wanted to get back to how they had been before he was sure that John would understand. And if he didn't... Well, Castiel would just have to jump that hurdle when he got there.

Just as he turned around John entered, looking like he was going to be sick.

Castiel was immediately at his side. "What's wrong?"

John sat on his bed, shaking and Castiel sat down by his side, hugging him and rubbing his arms to get the shaking to stop. When John turned frightened eyes to him Castiel's heart almost stopped.

"Cas." John pressed out. "Cas you know I..."

"John." Castiel said firmly when John quieted. "Talk to me."

"You know I love you right?" John forced out, so fast Castiel almost didn't catch it.

"Of course, I love you too."

John wretched free of Castiel's embrace and stood, pacing the room. "Don't say that! God!" He made a turn and stopped to look at a surprised Castiel. "Man, I fucked up Cas. I-I... Fuck!" he started pacing again and Castiel's stomach turned. He felt ill.

"Sit down John, you're making me nervous." He said as calmly as he could but John just kept pacing. "Sit down!"

John stared at him with wild eyes and Castiel was a little surprised himself. He had not just sounded like his father, had he? John slumped down on Castiel's bed.

"Sorry." He all but whispered and Castiel nodded.

"It's fine. Now tell me."

John nodded. "I... Mary and I, we..." he cleared his throat but Castiel nodded.