Saudade

1

Life in April 2020 was very different than I would have expected. I was supposed to be a senior, in high school getting prepared for senior prom that was happening in the next month. I was also supposed to be preparing for graduation and looking into colleges because it truly was right around the corner. Instead I was home, home in my room watching Grey's, because I had finally agreed with my mom that I'd watch it.

I had already been a month and a half into quarantine, I think when we met it was around the last week of April. I don't quite remember the day but I know I wrote it down somewhere.

I felt lonely, I was just home 24/7 with a cranky mom and a sassy little sister.

I really wasn't the type of person to use those social media apps or anything that involves meeting people online but I was desperate to talk to someone, anyone that wasn't family or a girl(since I lived with all girls and just got over my ex gf).

So I downloaded some social app in the beginning of April where you didn't have to show your face or share any of your information except your age. By the end of April, you came across me and we just clicked so instantly.

The connection was truly so surprising.

At first I made fun of myself and I didn't believe that this was real.

How? How could I possibly have a crush on someone I met online? Someone I don't know or even know what they look like ? This was something I saw as a red flag but again this was kind of the new norm currently with Covid going on.

I am the girl who grew up in the suburbs and stayed in the same neighborhood since she was a little girl. I found this as something risky, talking to someone online and someone who could tell me anything and I'd have no idea if they were telling the truth or not.

I couldn't help it though... the more we talked the more I fell and was intrigued with the way you think and hold a conversation. There has never been a dull moment.

I pray it stays that way.