"You never take anyone serious. I wish I could not give a fuck like you"
I put my phone down and turn my head to the side to look at my best friend. I couldn't help but to smile but also roll my eyes
I just found it very ironic because I was just on my phone texting him about how much I enjoy texting him.
" It's because I learned not to give a fuck until people prove they're actually worth giving a fuck about duh" I say with a sweet smile which resulted in her laughing.
"I guess you're right, but it's so hard to do that when you like someone. Especially, when you catch feelings for someone and don't have any control over it"
I looked at her and nodded my head in agreement.
In that moment I realized she honestly was right. I always put myself in positions where I was the one in control. I always would talk to people I knew wouldn't last forever and I kind of already predicted how the relationship would go/end.
I honestly just got into relationships for the experience and for knowledge for whenever I choose to take someone serious.
The thing is, with him...
It was unexpected, unreal and something unbelievable that I allowed myself to let happen.
To love someone I met online
A stranger I couldn't even ask anyone about.
I always believed meeting someone in person in a adorable way was the way a love story should be begin
We weren't a typical love story though.
Our love story is surprising and in its own way,
very rare and it's something I had no control over because my feelings for him were unexpected, felt unreal yet so real and I couldn't believe how much I cared about him.
I love him and he's not even mine
God I really hope he isn't married
I really hope he's not some 60 year old man
I really hope he's not lying about his age
I really hope he's not lying about his life story
I really hope he doesn't have a criminal record.
I really hope I can just stop overthinking.
I would constantly have these kind of thoughts because
Why was he not curious to FaceTime?
Why was he not curious to call ?
Why was he not curious about what I would think about his looks?
Most guys would want to know a girls opinion on what they think about when it comes to their looks. Not him though I guess.
Jesus, I hate the unknown.
YOU ARE READING
Saudade
RomanceMy life is not perfect My life is not a fairytale My life tends to be unpredictable Though sometimes it does have its good moments My life is filled with many ups and down You may think it's boring but it's real. Nothing about my love story is b...
