Saudade

10

"You know I really hate America and I really didn't imagine myself moving there until I met you. Here I am, a European guy, moving to Texas out of all places, for a Texan girl one day"

I roll my eyes as I think of something to respond with. Starring at my keyboard as I think.

"Well, I don't really like Texas either so we can just meet in Canada or Seattle? Also do you see me as like a Texan girl that says yee haw or something? Because I promise I do not like a typical Texan.."

I always wanted to go back to Washington State. It's where I was born and I just think it would be nice to learn about the state I come from.
I moved to Texas once I was 4 years old.

"zeita mea you are the only person that won't make me cringe when they say yee haw. Though, I know you probably won't but one day you will have to wear a cowboy hat and show me your Texan accent"

"I do not have a Texan accent. "

"Do you say y'all or ain't ? I heard that's a south thing. According to google and tiktok"

I roll my eyes and let out a deep breath

"Okay yes I say that but I don't sound country or anything. Why are we even still discussing this"

We could literally have discussion about anything. It could be something so little or something so big. No matter what it seemed interesting to me. That's all that matters anyways.

We could talk about our favorite fruit and talk about why it's our favorite fruit. We would talk about woman's rights when I would complain about how boys treat women. We would talk about a book I was currently reading. He would search it up online and read a summary so he could kind of get what I was talking about.

There are so many little ways he showed me that he cared. It was crazy. I was talking to him for almost a year now.

I'm starting to want to see how he looks like. I knew eventually I would want to know what he looked like and now I finally want to ask.

I don't know why I'm so nervous to ask. I guess, because he can tell me no or might come up with something. Which means it's either a excuse or he's telling the truth and just can't show me his face yet.

"Do you think we can finally see what each other look like? I really want to see the person I'm in love with finally. I know, no matter how you look, I love you. I promise, I love you." I text him

I sit in my bed, I start to feel my leg shake nervously as I wait for a response. I see him typing but then he stops and then he types and then he stops.

The overthinking begins.