online love (billie eilish)

right where you left me

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it...

Freya's POV:

I feel the bench with my fingertips, afraid to look up. This immense fear mixed with deja vu fills my body, like I know what's waiting for me when I lift my head. And I don't want it, but maybe I do.

The sky erupts in bright light, my surroundings disappearing one by one. I remember something from some tv show I used to watch, if you see the bright light, don't go into it. But if this is my truth, maybe our relationship wasn't fictional. It was a nightmare before some eternity or some never-ever-ever. If this is death, is this what I wanted?

It entices me, I feel myself start to lift ever so slowly off of the bench.

In a half a second, I'm pulled back onto the bench, strongly, the light all fades out, and I scream, my eyes adjusting back to a dark, gray world. I feel a hand wrapped around my wrist and slowly turn to the side, meeting my brother's eyes.

I cry harder, touching the palms of his hands. This is real.

"Go back, Freya," his face hardens, a thousand emotions he could be having, and I wouldn't ever know which ones. I could ask him, where am I, is this death, but I don't want to waste time.

"Please, please don't hate me, I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you," I hold onto his hand desperately, not ready for him to disappear again.

"It was never your fault. Your one moment of weakness, of anger, doesn't erase all you've ever done for me. Stop getting stuck on that moment, Freya, because I'm not. Stop searching for evidence that you are this awful person while ignoring all the good you've done. I don't want you to remember me with pain. You have to move on," he relaxes my fears, everything I needed to hear.

Strangers get born, strangers get buried...

"I'm sorry," I say one more time. He lets go of my hand.

He touches my forehead and my surroundings disappear, pulling me back into a not so distant memory:

~

I take a sip of water from the glass on her nightstand, my mouth intensely dry and bitter; I almost choke on the water.

I shake her awake, and her eyes snap open immediately. She tries to put her arms over me and I slip off the bed and stand up.

"I've thought about it, and I want to leave, I want you to take me to the airport."

She doesn't speak, her eyes darting from side to side.

~

My eyes stay closed as I touch my lips, then feel down to my wrists, an IV in my arm, my body heavily resting in an uncomfortable bed.

"Freya?"

I hear her voice and it's too much.

I open my eyes to the hospital room, watch as Billie rushes up from a nearby chair. Her relieved smile makes me smile.

I don't know if this is another dream, but I will it to be my reality. I think about what my brother said, and whether it was real or not, I make myself believe it.

Billie's POV:

I watch her eyes open and I'm overcome with relief.

I found her in her car on the side of the road, passed out and unresponsive. I carried her up into my car and drove her to the hospital, only to find out from the doctors that she had extreme amounts of ketamine in her system.