The Black Swan (Bucky Barnes x OC)

Part 1

Brooklyn
1943

There's something weird about being alone for the first time in your life, she thought to herself.

It was such a cold morning in Brooklyn. But Katherine didn't even realize how cold it was until she stepped outside, and that morning nobody was there at home with her to remind her of wearing an extra coat. It's funny how sometimes we make a routine around something so common like having someone looking out for us, reminding us to dress in warm clothes so we won't get sick; and suddenly that person's not around anymore.

Her whole life she'd experienced the feeling of loss. It was familiar to her. Everyone would've thought that by then she'd be actually quite used to it. She was eight years old when her parents died, so since a very young age it was something normal in her life. The feeling of missing someone that would never come back.

But still she never felt alone. The night her grandmother showed up and assumed the role of both of her parents, Katherine knew that as long as she had her she'd never be lonely in her life.

Growing up, she hated it when people called her an orphan. She never got to feel like one because she'd always had a family. When she woke up the morning after her parents died, Oksana wasn't just her grandmother, she was her whole world.

The most important thing for her.

The only important thing.

Oksana Kuznetsova was definitely a woman from another world. A superwoman, as she liked to call her when she was little. And when she died, she took part of Katherine with her.

She saw her everywhere. Even now, three months later; she was expecting to walk into the apartment every night to find her cooking dinner or getting ready to go to bed with that horrible nightgown she always wore.

But she wasn't there.

Instead, she walked through the door and found out that there was a small light at the end of the dark tunnel her life seemed to be. A light that made her feel like, maybe someday, she wouldn't feel alone anymore. Steve and Bucky were always setting the table every night, cooking dinner so the three of them could eat together and she didn't have to eat alone.

She had another family as well. A small one. A family she'd gotten over the years and was now all she had left. James Buchanan Barnes and Steve Rogers were something from another world, too. She used to think that beside her grandma, they were the only people who truly got her.

She used to have no friends. Actually, when she was little she'd started to think that her only friend would forever be Hildy, the fourty-year-old lady who owned the library two blocks away from her apartment. She was the only person Katherine could talk to, besides her grams. But when she met Steve and Bucky, they were the first ones who gave her a feeling of belonging.

Now, Tuesday of September, 1943, Katherine was on her way to have breakfast with them at the grill on the first day off she'd had in a month.

Brooklyn's streets were quite empty to be a Tuesday morning.

It was 9am, everybody was busy working inside their offices and the old ladies that used to fill the sidewalks with their shopping bags in hand were nowhere to be seen that day. The past couple of years had been really rough for everybody, and for the ladies – she assumed – it was even more complicated since their husbands and sons were all at war. Loneliness can be quite a bad influence on someone's behavior, and they were not the exception because since the war started they felt like they had the right to talk about everyone else's business to distract themselves from worrying.

Today they were not around to talk about Katherine's lack of husband, her profession or criticize the way she dressed.

They knew she was only 23 years old, but they would always look at her differently for not having family plans yet and "wasting" her time hanging out with 'those two older boys'.

They used to say she lived in the clouds.

They talked as if they knew her or her friends. Or as if they knew what she wanted to do with her life. They didn't care if she was making a name for herself in the ballet industry or if her play was sold out for the rest of the month. They didn't care if she was smart as hell either, no. It was like every time they'd approached her when she was younger to tell her that she'd have a great future was an absolute lie and now all they could see was a waste of a girl. That drove her insane, so this beautiful morning without them whispering behind her back was all she needed.

A minute of peace and quiet.

She didn't get much quiet very often. Her mind was too loud. Her thoughts would never stop. Maybe that was the negative thing of remembering everything she'd ever did or heard or read. She never ran out of things to overthink.

And hell she was an overthinker.

Now, she was thinking how late it was.

But she was always running late.

And for that she'd have to hear them complain as soon as she walked through the door. But who knows when would it be the next time she'll have the chance to walk alone the always noisy and always busy streets of Brooklyn. She couldn't care less about the wind making a mess of her hair or that her nose and cheeks were probably red for the low temperature. She just let herself enjoy.

Katherine was already a few steps away from the cafe's door when she realized how fast she'd gotten there. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she never actually noticed she'd arrived until the entrance was right in front of her. As her fingers opened the door, she allowed the hot air slide through her bones and warm her instantly while she made her way through the tables, eyes focused on the man who looked at her from his seat while the widest smile spread across his face.

His eyes were more grey than ever since they changed according to the weather; the same way her eyes did.

God, she loved his eyes.

Katherine would often ask herself if some day she'd be able to look at his smile and feel nothing. If she'd ever be able to look at him only as friends and not like the love of her life. But today the idea of being indifferent to the feelings he awakened felt more distant than ever; because when Bucky laid those beautiful blue eyes on her, her heart skipped a beat.

"Hey doll"