The Black Swan (Bucky Barnes x OC)

Chapter 12

Italy
May 5th, 1944

"Jesus, you scared the shit out of me" Katherine said, instinctively placing a hand on her chest.

Bucky was standing right in front of her looking like he had just come from a long hard mission but wearing his good uniform. He didn't look good, she thought. He looked tired.

She knew why.

She'd felt the same way all day long and he could tell; she looked gorgeous all dressed up but the way her eyes crystallized when she saw him standing there let him know that she was having a hard time since their fight too. Bucky hated fighting with Katherine. Especially when he knew she was right to ask him for independence and being responsible for her own life. After all, she was a strong grown up woman who deserved to have her own piece of mind. But he knew she was so, so stubborn... She wouldn't hesitate to put her life at risk if she had to save him or Steve. Or even any soldier who was with her. God knows he'd do the same, but she'd never understand how hard it was for him to go to sleep every night knowing that maybe tomorrow would be the day he finally loses her. He didn't know what to do to change her mind.

It all sounded so tragic he could laugh.

Actually, he knew he couldn't change her mind.

So he made his peace with it, because the only thing worse than losing her would be living in a world where she resented him.

"Where were you?" she asked him after a few seconds of silence.

"Phillips sent us to do a ground recon of another HYDRA base we found thanks to the coordinates you remembered. We just got back so I only had like five seconds to shower and change. You... you look beautiful"

"James, what are you really doing here?"

"Don't do that..."

"What?"

"Calling me James when you are mad at me. It doesn't sound the same and... and I hate that" he answered. He deserved to be treated like this because he had been mean to her, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. They should have figured it all out together as the great team they'd always been, not screaming and fighting like enemies.

"I'm not mad at you"

"Yes, you are and I understand"

"Why? Did you change your mind?"

He hesitated for a second. Of course he hadn't changed his mind, how could he when his girl's life was on the line. But he loved her enough to understand that Katherine was smart and capable and that she was actually really good now that she'd learned how to control her new abilities. Also, he knew that it wouldn't be his Katherine if she wasn't that goddamn stubborn.

"I... I don't know. It's not like I don't stand for what I think, it's just that I don't want you to think I don't trust you"

"Well, it kinda looks like it, you know?"

He was trying to apologize, she knew that; and actually he'd never been really good at it, but when you are at war you can't patch things up with an ice cream because the fights are not as stupid as they used to be. It was a serious problem now, and all she wanted was a chance to prove that she wasn't useless anymore. All her life bad things had happened to her and she was never able to prevent any of them. Now she could walk side by side with the ones she loved instead of watching everyone else fight their fights for her.

Katherine couldn't help but think that this was how Steve used to feel back in Brooklyn when he couldn't get enlisted. He was so sure that he could do so much more... and still she would have never preferred him putting his life at risk. Maybe that's how Bucky felt about her...