Criminally Insane

Blackout

I sat down behind my desk and stared at the blank laptop screen.

Clenching my teeth, I thought back to the moment Scarlett had returned home. I thought I would die without her, and now I could die because of her.

"You have to remember that she was trying to protect you," Colton's voice echoed over the speaker phone.

I put my head in my hands and sighed. "Telling me that Santee was spying on me would have been protection enough."

She was acting as if I couldn't hold up on my own. Because of that, I felt as if she wasn't on my side. I felt betrayed.

I could be overreacting, but I feel like she should have trusted me enough.

The night we went out for a drive, she had the red book. My book. It was a journal that held everything I'd seen and done since I was a young boy.

I didn't really write in it until my mother passed.

She didn't tell me where she'd gotten it. Instead, she lied and said she found it.

That was only half a lie. She did find it, but she didn't tell me where.

I was too caught up in her to have a second thought of where she got it from.

Santee Bulgera had this entire time, along with my files from Waverly.

I had the devil working under me this entire time. He held important intel about me and my business.

The problem I couldn't figure out was why him?

There is a lot that I don't remember when I was locked up, but I was positive that I would be able to remember his face.

"You want to know what I think?" Colton asked, snapping me back into reality.

"Yeah?"

"I think this has something to do with Caesar."

I looked up from the dark screen. "What does my father have to do with this complete stranger watching me?"

"Think about it," Colton started speaking. "He tried to convince Scarlett to leave you. He still believes that you are sick. Maybe he wants Bulgera to watch you to be sure you aren't falling off of the wagon again."

Unfortunately, Colton had a point. It did make sense. But father could've spoken to me directly. And, it doesn't explain the files.

"Why would this man have everything about me?" I asked while flipping through the files that Colton sent to my house.

I ran across an enveloped object.

Curious, I opened it to see a CD.

"Did you know that there was a disk in here?" I asked Colton.

He sounded as confused as I did. "No," he responded. "I sent Luis to get anything out of Santee's house with your name on it. I'm sure the inner contents were the least of his concerns."

After turning on my computer, I put the CD in.

'Waverly Hills Sanatorium' popped up on a white screen. The eagle logo was faded in the background.

Soon, the screen switched to black and white film. It was grainy, but as I watched, I didn't need the film to remember that day.

Furious, I slammed the laptop closed, throwing it across the study.

"Yo, man, what's the problem?" I heard Colton shout from the other end.

"Nelegitm," I growled. I pushed myself up.

That explains the look of sympathy Scarlett had started giving me when she came back.

I wasn't thinking.

"How many times did that woman rape you?"

I shut her up.

She was trying to tell me, and I shut her up.

Pacing the floor, I ignored Colton's confused protests in the background.

I never told him that the doctor touched me. I was too ashamed.

The memories I tried to lock away came back.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them, her blood was on my hands.

My eyes widened. "No."

I could feel my heartbeat quicken.

"Rowan," I heard Colton's voice in the back of my head.

My head was pounding as I tried to find his voice.

Frustrated, I picked up a glass and through it across the room. It hit the wall in a piercing clash before littering the floor.

"Rowan, you need to listen. You're having another panic attack."

My breathing increased as I pulled at my hair frantically.

I had the devil right under my fucking nose. "He's going to lock me up again," I whispered.

You're good as dead.

As dead as those men you killed.

"Stop it."

The voices were started to overlap and I was getting irritated.

Maybe you'll kill Scarlett too.

"No." I would never do that.

They're going to fry your brain out.

They laughed at me.

"Shut up," I mumbled, closing my eyes.

They're going to poke and prod at your body. We all want to know why you're a lost cause at this point.

I started hitting my head as my feet pounded against the floor while I paced. "Leave me alone," I screamed.

Leave me alone, they mocked me.

All I could hear was laughter and whispers.

I kept beating my palms against my head. "Shut the hell up," I screamed.

I could see John, Carl and Will laughing at me. My heart raced in pure anger as I charged towards them.

"Oops," they said. Just when I was about to strike at Carl, they all disappeared.

Screaming, I punched the wall.

You never learn.

The voices.

"STOP IT," my voice boomed through the house.

Everything ceased.

Silence.

The silence was louder than the voices.

"Rowan," I heard that familiar voice.

A tear slipped as I turned around.

"Mum."

Before I could get to her, everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You can definitely tell when a guy's POV is written by a females hand.

Also, don't forget that this book is unedited! It will not be edited until it's completed.

But, this is another look into Rowan's present life. He will only be getting on more as the book is closing. What do you guys think so far? 50+ chapters in. Is everything making sense?

I don't know when I will update again, so check out Forbidden Fruit in the meantime!

VOTE, COMMENT, TELL OTHERS!

~djdiamondmind1738