Chapter 15- Cecelia

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by _writerslife

by _writerslife

It hurts to know you're happy, it hurts that you've moved on

It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long.

It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?

If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all.

-Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer

(This song is really relateable in my life right now.)

Wow, I have not been on here in a while - sorry about that. Nothing totally noteworthy has happened recently, so I suppose that's it.

I'm not exactly sure what to write. This is essentially a "midnight rant" type of thing, I guess.

I miss how things were back in fall, at the beginning of the school year. When our group was together. Not that it matters, I suppose, because that's long gone.

Those were good days. Why did I not realize how lucky I had it then? To have a definite group of friends? How could I have been so selfish? Of course, I say this now, but chances are, I'll look back in 6 months and think that I was being selfish now. It was so much simpler back then, though. I realized I had it good, but I didn't know how much I would miss that security once it was gone.

It seems that I miss a lot nowadays.

Lately, I've been watching more of Supernatural, and it is almost alarming how similar(ly) I feel to one of the main characters, Sam. We both have people who are gone or leave us and we both want to be away from it all at first, which obviously doesn't work out. We also both want to be independent, but that also doesn't work out. We both have problems with mental health, and want to be away from the pain.

We're both just two lost, confused, scared souls in this cruel world, hanging on by a thread, trying to not have (another) breakdown.

We both just want to be good people, but get caught up in bad situations. It's not as easy as it seems to be the character that you want to be.