The Kiss of Death

CHAPTER XIV

Me and Ian had figured out some kind of plan. It was very baseless, had no back ups but I had no choice but to agree.

I could feel my hands shaking as I brought them forward to knock on Paul's door.

I was scared, no I was terrified.

God I need to get my shit together. I'd always been braver than this, always appreciated this rush of adrenaline whenever I was going to do something exhilarating.

So I took a few deep breaths, calmed myself down and knocked on Paul's door.

Just two slow knocks.

The door opened and there stood a a very calm looking Paul , completely opposite to what I had expected.

He looked me in the eye and then quickly turned his eyes. He was embarrassed of what had happened and it made sense as well , he was not a bad person at heart.

And I was here to take advantage of the situation

Dammit

I can't get demotivated right now,  much more important things than goodwill were at risk here .

He gestured me to come inside . I hesitated for a second,  not because I was scared but because I had never done anything so wrong before.

Paul mistook my hesitation and sudden shame filled his face.

"I understand if you want to speak at a more safer place  , we can go to the common room" He said softly.

"No its alright,  we can talk here " I said suddenly , I didn't want this plan to fail. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to repeat all of this again.

He looked at me with a glint of suprise in his eyes.

And then I realised that I maybe I sounded a little too excited , which I wasn't .

"I mean I prefer to speak here alone than in front of everyone, but still I'd prefer to keep the door open " I said trying to make amends in the situation.

He gave me a little sad smile and opened the door wider to let me in .

As I walked into his room , I realised that all the things that I had gone appreciating before were nothing in front of this . Alright I don't have time for this right now,  maybe some other time.

What did I mean by some other time? Why would I be in Paul's room again? Damnit this entire thing was too distracting.

I contained all my stupid thoughts and tried to focus on the thing that really needed my attention right now.

"So........." Paul started off , but wasn't really able to frame his thoughts.

"Yes ? Is there anything you would like to tell me?" I asked , looking straight into his guilt-filled eyes.

"See Laura , I'm really sorry first of all. I don't know how what happened,  happened.  I haven't acted this way for about a century,  this side of me you just saw,  it doesn't even exist. I know there is no manner in which I can justify what I did , but I'll surely understand if you choose to not trust me again." He said with a rather heavy voice.

I knew his words were genuine , I knew he was sorry and I'd forgiven him for it but I couldn't say that to him. I needed that damn box and for me to get it , things had to go a certain way.

"You hurted me Paul and maybe I'll come to forgive you eventually but that little fear of you that has settled into my heart , I don't think I'll ever be able to get rid of it." I said with a shaky voice.

Lies Lies Lies

I was becoming a magnificent manipulator.

Paul looked at me with all the sadness and guilt that existed in this world

"I understand , I've done something very wrong and I know I don't deserve forgiveness." Paul said with a sad sigh.

At this very moment came a little ring on the door , a shrill long noise .

Everything was going according to the plan.

Atleast that is what I thought