Over, Gone, and Lost

P A R T 10

Growing up, Caroline Smith was always alone. The only constant in her life was school and visits with her social worker Ms. Jen.

When Caroline was eight, Ms. Jen took her to a new house, it was her second one that year, she was very sad because another family didn't want her. She never understood what was so wrong with her that no one could stand to keep her.

On the way to the new house, Ms. Jen stopped at a store. She walked the aisle with little Caroline in silence. Finally, they got to the art section, and Ms. Jen pulled out a sketchbook. She handed it to Caroline and said, "for when you are alone."

Caroline had never been given a gift like that. She thanked her, and they left for the new house. Suddenly she wasn't so upset. The sketchbook lasted Caroline two years. It had a lot of paper. Ms. Jen was hoping that it would help her since she was such a quiet child. She wanted the best for Caroline, but she was also a social worker in one of the biggest cities in America. There were a lot of children she was responsible for.

That was Caroline's thing growing up, she drew. When she was old enough, she started buying her own sketchbooks. The only person in the entire world that saw Caroline's sketches was Augustine.

The first time he saw them was about two months after he met her. They were sitting outside at lunch. He was rambling on about some girl that wouldn't give him the time of day while Caroline sketched next to him.

"What are you doing? Are you even listening?" he muttered, looking over at her.

"Yes, keep going. Sarah is hot blah blah" she laughed without looking at him.

"No, let me see what you're doing," he snatched her sketchbook.

"Wait, Auggie, give it back," she yelled, reaching for it. Augustine used his 6'2 figure to his advantage and put the book up. Once she stopped struggling and allowed him to look through it, he smiled. She put her head in her hands and could not see the astonished look on Augustine's face.

"You drew all these, kid?" he asked. She grumbled at the nickname since he was only a couple of weeks older but nodded her head yes.

"These are amazing," he said. She looked up at him, waiting for him to say he was kidding, but he just smiled and looked at the drawings.

Some of them were of people, some of buildings, some of nature. The one she was most recently working on was of Augustine. He smiled at the picture.

"I love you, kid," he said, hugging her. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him. Although he told her all the time that he loved her, she never said it back. She didn't know what it felt like to love someone, even as a friend, but she was pretty sure she loved Augustine. He was her best friend.

Her everything.

Caroline snapped out of her thoughts when the car swerved. She looked over at Ben as he let out a deep sigh.

"Sorry, there was a deer," he said without taking his eyes off the road.

Caroline felt something wet on her face, and when she went to wipe it away, she realized she had been crying. She missed Augustine. The last time Caroline picked up a pencil to draw was the day before Augustine died. It felt wrong to her to draw after that. She didn't know why.

She just couldn't. 

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