Over, Gone, and Lost

P A R T 15

"What was your mother like?" Caroline asked.

"Umm, she was beautiful. But she had issues," Ben replied. There was no point in keeping it from someone who would die soon anyway, so why not tell her.

"What do you mean?"

"My mother was mentally ill a lot of her life, it got awful in her twenties, and I watched her struggle as I grew up. I watched her struggle with what was right and wrong and what was real and what wasn't. She spent her life in and out of mental institutions, never finding a reason for her issues. Then, when she was finally diagnosed with like three different things, she has also diagnosed with stage four cancer." Ben held back the tears at the memory. He promised himself he wouldn't cry over her anymore.

As much as Ben loved his mother growing up, she was in his past. He had moved on from that heartbreak, and he was ok now. He truly believed she was in a better place now.

"Tell me more," Caroline whispers, getting comfortable by lifting her knees to her chest. Ben smiles, thinking of some of the better memories he has of his mother.

"My mother used to tell me I was her fallen star, that the universe sent me to her because it knew she needed me. So one day, when I came home from school, she had decorated the ceiling of my room with glow-in-the-dark stars and planets. She taught me everything she knew about the stars, and whatever she didn't know, we learned together." Caroline smiles at Ben's joy in recalling the memory.

"My mother was never stable enough to keep a real job, but she would do side jobs all around our neighborhood, babysit, mow lawns, paint bedrooms, plan cookouts, whatever so that she wasn't sitting with her thoughts all day long. She was so kind, she was friends with everyone in the neighborhood, and she made friends with the parents on my sports teams. She loved my father with everything in her" Ben's voice grew sad towards the end.

"They were high school sweethearts, they were each other's first real relationship, and not a day went by where they didn't love each other. He was so broken when she died, but he held it together for me. I don't know what I would have done without him after she died," he said sadly.

Caroline listened contently, latching onto every word that Ben spoke about his mother, the smile never leaving his face as he shared her life. She was indeed a beautiful woman. She may not have always been there mentally, but she did her best, and she cared for her family enough that it didn't matter how messed up she was. She was loved.

"Thank you," Caroline said.

"What for?" Ben asked curiously.

"Sharing that with me,"

"Well then, thank you too."

Caroline giggled at Ben, "what for?" She repeated his words.

"Listening."

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