Visions of the Sea

Prologue

(This story is not connected to the universities I have mentioned IRL.)

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To my sisters,

Scientiae fidimus. Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

(In science we trust. Don't let the bastards grind you down.)

***

How do you save a life?

If you can barely save your own.

How can you find the willingness to float to the surface?

When all you ever want is to sink and drown?

"Are you sure about this, Thylane? You can always work at other hospitals here in Cambridge or England," Sky is doing whatever he can to change my mind but he knows I'm not going to—ever.

I'm packing my things up for my flight tonight. I'm going home.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Sky. It's not what I want to do. It's what I have to do."

"You haven't been home in a while. You'll finally see your friends and family in one place after so many years."

Sinirado ko ang aking maleta at ibinaba mula sa kama. I sit down to take a rest before I go to the airport and Sky is taking me.

Maliit akong ngumiti sa kanya. "I know. I miss them all," sabi ko habang ibinabalik ang mga masasayang alaala.

Those were good times.

Natahimik kaming dalawa pero nakatingin pa rin siya sa'kin ng maigi. Parang may gustong itanong pero hindi alam kung paano sasabihin.

"You know you're going to meet him again at some point, right?" makahulugan niyang utas habang naka-krus ang dalawang kamay sa dibdib.

Whenever I look at Sky, I think of him over and over again. It took a lot of avoidance, time and effort to get used to his presence. There's a moment when we were in medical school that he reminds me of him so I don't talk to Sky as much as I can. He's just very much like him.

"No, we're not," that's the only respond I can think of.

The likelihood of seeing him again in my home country is vast considering my current situation of unemployment.

He scoffs. "You handle the Alcaraz hotels and resorts now, Thylane. Who do you think is the owner of one of the biggest hotel chains in the world? He's your number one competitor. You're practically revolving in the same world of business. Not to mention you're both surgeons. Your domain is the hospital. You're not this stupid not to think about the possibilities," he scolded me but I won't hear any more of it.

I let out a heavy sigh before saying something back. "I'm not listening to you anymore," I dismiss him and turn my back. I don't want to entertain anymore of this discussion.

"If you see him again, will you give it another chance?" diretsahan niyang tanong.

He's really all fired up to ask the most dreading and hurtful questions.

Thinking about what he said is like pushing the knife that's already been in my heart for many years even further.

"It's been twelve years, Sky. I can't give it another shot because he's probably married. And I'm going to be arranged to someone else. We're twelve years too late," I've gone numb to a point where I just can't shed a tear any longer.