My blondie (newt x reader)

pg 5

It has been a month since the row. I haven't spoken to Newt but it's really upsetting me now. I love him but I cant just excuse what he said. I also don't want to be staying with people anymore, I feel like I'm a burden now. 6 and a half months pregnant today, I was a month pregnant when we found out. My stomach is huge now. My pets have not once gone near Newt since the row and get defensive anytime he's around. I fucking miss him so much but I can't stop thinking about what he said. The whole thing is constantly on repeat in my head, like a broken record player playing the same song over and over again and its driving me crazy. I've barely slept in a month or eaten, every time I do I feel sick. It's about 3am now and I'm just staring into the sky from the tower thinking when I hear someone come up the ladder. "Um- Teresa said I'd find you here-" Newt said quietly "Mhm" I replied. "c- can I sit with you for a bit?" he asked hopefully, I nodded my head in reply but stayed laying down looking at the stars. We just sat there quietly, sure enough I was crying but I've gotten good at hiding it now. He didn't realise until he looked over and could see the tears stream down my face "y/n?" he whispered "hm?" I replied softly "Look, I am really really sorry for everything, I truly am. I don't even know why I said those horrible things, there really is no excuse, I guess I was tired and angry, I went to the hut to see if you were sleeping and you weren't there my fear just turned to rage. I knew locking you away wasn't gonna do any justice because you cant stand being locked inside if there's no one with you, I knew that but still did it anyways which isn't fair. I treated you like a dog after misbehaving and that was so disgusting and unfair of me to do- I- I'm just really sorry" he said quietly "its alright Newt" I said back "No it isn't. the things I said to you were disgusting y/n. I called you a bitch and told you I was ashamed of you and my unborn kids which couldn't be further from the truth and I know that doesn't account for anything but honestly, after you walked away, I threw up when I realised what I said and how disgusting it was. I didn't give you the space you needed either, then got drunk and thrashed the hut and freaked out at everything and honestly scared the shit out of anyone that came near me with how crazy I was, even Chief was too scared to come near me. I need to cop on and stop treating people like I own them, I do not own you and for me to make it seem like that's what we are- were? I don't know but for me to make it like that's what it is, its disgusting of me to do, and I know how wrong and cruel I was and I'm just really really sorry, even when we weren't talking, you still didn't tell Gally everything to keep me out of trouble, that honestly shows how mature you are and how much of a shank I am" he said again. I could hear the pain in his voice, which made it harder to hear. "Honestly its fine" I said back quietly trying to steady the tears "sorry for calling you dad" I laughed. Newt burst out laughing and when he stopped I started talking again "Look, I know I'm a pain in the ass sometimes and I'm annoying and all that, I am sorry I'm that way but its just how I am I guess, I am trying to not be that way-" I said but he cut me off "but I like you that way! it's funny and cute and so much fun to be a part of and its who you are, its the girl I fell head over heals, madly in love with and I don't want her going away" he said quickly "gimme a hug" I smiled and Newt hugged me and kissed the top of my head then pulled away and held out his hand "friends again?" he asked hopefully "you moron we were friends again when you came up here" I smiled before hugging him again. As we came down from the tower I noticed Teresa, Thomas and Minho waiting but pretending they weren't in on the whole thing and they ran and hugged us when I grabbed Newts hand. I was swiftly put to bed because it was now 4:30 am and the group refused to allow me up any later. I had to get the pets though and bring them to the hut so they knew everything was okay now. I curled up in bed next to Newt for the first time in what felt like years and quickly fell asleep with my arms around his neck.