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Draken // Mirror Image

Draken and I are dating for almost a year now even though the obvious reason is that he only agrees to date me because I look like a certain someone. but it's cool, I don't mind.

Sometimes he slips when talking to me and calls me Emma but It's okay. I didn't bother to correct him. I even dye my hair blonde to match her appearance.

Emma is the girl that got away. She died of a head injury five years ago. She died without knowing what Draken feels about her.

"Hey." Draken greeted me and kiss me on my cheeks.

"Love." I greeted him back.

"What are you wearing?" He said. His forehead wrinkled.

"Do you like it? I saw this displayed at the store and I fell in love with the design." I spin around to let him see my dress.

"Emma would never wear something revealing like that.

I'll be lying if I say it didn't hurt. It hurts like hell! It's like he never sees me as me but an Image of the girl he truly loves.

But why I didn't break up with him you ask? The answer is simple. I love him. I love him so much that I can be Emma for him. It's better to be like that than he's not mine.

"I... I won't wear this again."

"Good." He wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead.

We spend our day at the plaza where all the stores and restaurants are located. I'm happy today because he spent time with me. It's hard to ask for a date because he's so busy with his gang activities. But it's fine as long as he calls me every night. He still didn't introduce me to his friends or the so-called Tokyo Manji Gang. They don't know that I exist.

It's not his fault though. I know what he's going through when I entered his life and I accepted the consequence of loving someone who cannot forget his first love.

"Here." He hands me a choco mint Ice cream.

"But love, I don't like that."

"Emma loves it."

"Yeah. Right." I take the Ice cream in his hand and eat it.

But I'm still hoping that someday he'll see me as me not a mirror image of his first love. I just need to be patient with him.

Months passed and it's still the same. He also made me copy her mannerism. I'm exhausted.

"It's okay. This is fine. As long as Draken is mine." I whispered to myself.

**********

Our anniversary is tomorrow. I'm excited! I have a plan to surprise him. I already bought the things that I'll be needing and the ingredients for cooking. I plan a simple dinner for us here at my apartment. Maybe if he can taste my cooking he can see a little bit of me.

The next day I message him that I'm busy in the morning. That we can meet at night and he agreed. I start my preparation. I blew the balloons that spelled Happy one year, Love.

After that, I start to bake a cake and cook his favorite hot curry. I finished setting up at 7:00 pm. "Whew! That's a lot of work." I said to myself.

I took a shower first before calling him.

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Why I cannot contact him? Is there something that happened? I don't know who to ask because I didn't know his friends' numbers. My chest tightens.

What if there's an accident that I did not know about? What if he got injured in some gang activity.

I have so many bad thoughts. I shake my head.

I take my bag and walk out of my apartment. I went to every police station and hospital in the area. I know that being in a gang is dangerous I'm always scared of his safety but he loves Toman so I can't just tell him to leave his gang.

Thank god! He's not in any of the hospitals. I felt a little relief.

I am walking to I don't know anymore in the middle of the night finding someone. I check the time and It's already 2 in the morning. Our anniversary has ended.

"Where could he be?" I whisper to myself. I freeze from walking when I thought of something.

"No. He cannot be there."

I run as fast as I can and find a taxi. I went to the cemetery. He brought me once here to tell me everything before we started dating.

And I was right. He's there in front of Emma, kneeling. I walk towards him. I will just send him home so he can rest. it's already late.

"Emma." He muttered. I stop walking.

"Whatever I do, I can't forget you. I cannot love someone other than you. I wish I could turn back the time, I'll tell you how I feel. I'll tell you that I love you." He said.

It hits me. He can never love me as me. He's too broken that I cannot fix him even if I pretend to be her. I step back. My hand is in my chest.

If he met me first. will he love me like that?

Tears fall. It streams down to my face I want to get out of here this is too much pain for me but I run. I run towards him. I hug him tight.

"Please don't punish yourself," I whisper. "It's not your fault."

"Y/N?" he muttered.

"Let's go home, You need to rest," I said leaning my head to his.

He removed my hands that's wrapping him.

"I can't do this anymore Y/N. I cannot love you. I tried... but I really can't." He said.

I felt sharp stings stabbing me. I looked down. There's silence for a moment.

I wipe my tears and sniffs, I took a deep breath. I cupped his face and look into his eyes. Those empty black eyes. "I understand. but please, Draken. Pick yourself up I can't bear to see you like this. I'm sorry I failed to fix you."

"It's not your fault Y/N. I just... I just can't forget her."

"I know... I know." I said

He holds my hand that's cupping his face. "I will try to fix myself... alone..."

"That's all I could ask for." I smiled at him. A sad smile.

After what happened that night, we went our separate ways. It hurts! I cried for god knows how long but I stand again. I cut my long hair and return it to its original hair color. I wear what I want and I start loving myself more and before I know It, another year has passed.

Sometimes I look at the stars and think of him. I wish someday he'll find peace so he can start to fix himself and If the day comes that we'll meet again. I hope he sees the real me. 

End.