AND THUS IT BEGAN

CHAPTER 20

ADRIANA :

Over the years if there is anything I tried so hard to avoid it's being able to hurt others with words I know I would never mean and never meant regardless of how they were spoken.

What I had said to Marco was unforgivable on every right and on every point but I didn't know how to fix it cause it was enough he was already doubting me when I said that I was taking him back in my life as my man.

Honestly I loved him very much and I still do but I have come to realize that the real reason I wasn't opening up to him entirely was because I feared that if he saw what I had truly become he would leave me, but then again I wasn't expecting him to want me after the things I said to him.

There was so much no one knew except myself and it has been a burden for the past couple of years, I never really left everything behind cause who was I kidding, it definitely didn't work that way.

I knew far too much about far too many people that even when I escaped the clutch of my parents it just wasn't enough, talk about those times when I had began learning to fight, it was supposed to be just that, self defense.  But just like every other event in my life it had escalated quicker than planned and soon I was running from my own shadows.

Years had passed by in such a blur that I almost forgot those times but then again who was I trying to fool, I never forgot no matter how much I tried, I just never did.

I had Marco now and all I had to do was say the word and he would take it all away, that is how powerful my beautiful Marco had become in those years yet I couldn't bring myself to bare my scars before him cause I feared he would never go back to feeling the same for me.

I was so exhausted that I didn't bother going out of my room again instead I took a bath, said a prayer and went to sleep not before leaving the door unlocked incase Sophie or Lucia decided to sleep here like they did most nights.

It was a new day and the weather seemed in perfect condition making me wish my soul was the same but then wishes like that were gradually becoming a little too far fetched for me.

I freshened up and changed into a jumpsuit and a stiletto before leaving my room, my appearance didn't concern me at all at this point and I hoped everyone would do well to mind their own business.

As soon as I stepped into the hallway I bumped into Luca who had told me that he arranged a private teacher for the kids till we could find a more permanent solution to the problems we were facing and for that I was thankfull.

I was about to walk away when I felt him wrap his arms around mine and began gently pulling me God knows where.

Soon we arrived at a set of double doors in the same floor as our room except I'd never been here before.

   "Open it"
He said softly to which I did and I was knocked right off my feet by the elegance, the beauty, the warmth and most of all the size of the room.

    "Whose room is this Luca"
I asked genuinely curious.

    "It was supposed to be yours and Marcos bedroom and Lord knows that I might get a bullet in the knee for bringing you here but I don't care anymore "
I turned to face him cause I knew where this was going or did I?

   "I'm not gonna stand aside and watch you both destroy something you were able to find again after five fucking years so I want you to listen carefully"
He stopped and started pacing.

   "When my father brought Marco home claiming him to be a member of the family I loved him like a brother instantly because why not?, he was kind, amazing, and really patient with everyone but I knew he was broken inside out, he had nightmares, he was always lost in his own head and always liked to have his own space,   it was sweet the first few months he was healing from those wounds till my father offered the Don position.

It seemed tempting in the eye but I wasn't interested in a responsibility like that so I handed it to Marco instead, I didn't do it because he deserved the stress but because he was so lost in this world he needed to have something he could call his own, something only death  could take from him."

"It was difficult in the beginning but just like I predicted it was all that he had so he focused solely on that, soon enough he was sent away to go train just like I was, difference was that he's was worse, I'm not going to tell you that I know what happened out there cause I don't but what I do know is that the Marco that left this building a year prior wasn't the very same one that returned to us"

"he was harder, cruel, merciless, he was unreachable, do you know that in all those times there was only one thing that remained untainted in his entire existence"

"It was a woman called Catherina, the woman he met in the south, the one so innocent she wasn't supposed to be in this world, the one who begged for his life even when he had foolishly refused to share his feelings with her, That woman was the only thing that kept Marco going even when he felt like everything was coming to an end.

I remember how he would come home some days so angry that the entire manor will be vacated because he could only be pacified by blood so I would make everyone leave seeing as he could never bring himself to kill me.

I would carefully go to him to share what was upsetting him so much and you'd be surprised at his answer.

He would always tell me how he imagined someone somewhere hurting his Catherina and the mere thought was enough to drive him to the edge so I would try the same method that worked every other time.

I would ask him to imagine the possibility that his Catherina was actually in perfect health, to imagine that she was happy wherever she was and surprisingly his mood always did a 360 instantly "

Luca chuckled but I could hear the agony behind it and it broke my heart all over again causing more tears to fall.

  "I hope you understand why he's worried about the Catherina he got five years later, surely you would understand why he's trying so hard to reach out to you in hopes that even if you don't let him entirely in at least meet him half way through"

He stopped and looked at me before he said words that shattered my already broken soul.

   "I will not ask you to be with him if  you no longer want to so I beg you, don't hurt him anymore than you have already done, don't tell him you want him when you probably don't, don't be here by the time he returns if you know you want nothing with him"

He walked away from me and started heading to the door before he stopped again.

   "I don't know your story Catherina but I know you are hurting badly, I love you like a sister and I know you are in danger so please don't try to be the dumb girl in the books who thought they could take care of it alone, You can't no matter how much you try, so just know that we will be here whenever you are ready to talk about it"

With that He left while I crumpled on the floor wishing that I handled the situation better than I did.

********* ********* **********
Love❤️❤️
Diamond 💎