a Little Blurry | Billie Eilish

¹ gettıng older

jordan pov

it's been a while... a good while.
and even though a lot of time has passed, we still remained the same. better, actually.
billie and me. happier than ever before.

i can almost say that this is all i've ever dreamt of as a little girl but i'm not quite there yet. there's still too many things i haven't experienced.
i know it sound ridiculous saying this as the girlfriend of a popstar, but not everything revolves around fame and money.

the journey this girl and i have so far needs to go on and it will only get better. someday i'd be pleased to call it a happy end but until then i am willing to give my all to make our future shine even brighter.

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"wake up." i hear a raspy but low voice mumble against my neck, followed by peck after peck.
"baby." another kiss falls on my damp skin as i don't answer.

"hmm, what?" i ask softly while trying to process what's happening.

it's also gotta be wayy too early.

after feeling my body wake up a little more, i slowly open my eyes, the sun coming through the curtains and softly landing on my face.

"i got us some food, baby." billie says, kissing me again. This time on the lips.

that sentence actually makes me want to wake up and i softly start kissing her back a few times, remembering just how much i love her.
it soon gets slightly sloppier but before we lose control over our actions, the girl hovering over me pulls away as my gaze steadily follows her gratifying appearance.

"then go on and gimme the food when i can't get your ass back in bed." i chuckle, letting billie go so she can stand up and move off of the silk bedsheets.

"okay, but you gotta stop trying to seduce me once i get back in bed." she says after placing down a wooden tray that has freshly cooked french toast along with a variety of tropical fruits neatly positioned on it.

how cute...

"you did all that?" i ask in disbelief, feeling the delicious smell spreading in the once neutral air.

"no, the chef standing in our kitchen." billie jokes, knowing damn well that we don't have one.
"of course i did."

"right." i mumble as i take in everything that's in front of me - a beautiful breakfast and my girlfriend billie, pouting as always.

"so you gonna actually eat or just stare?" she laughs, impatiently waiting for me to start devouring her creations.

and that's all it takes for me to make my morning roll.

ℵ

this is what its mostly like. either billie wakes up before me - because of some meetings - and brings me breakfast, or i do and try making her stay in bed a little longer... which never works out because she is too coordinated and responsible.

my modeling carreer is gladly not as stressful yet, as it will become later on, which im thankful for.
i enjoy my job very much and meeting new people and building connections is never bad, right?
also attending a lot of shoots and fittings is fun and most of them go by pretty fast which gives me more time resting in our apartment.

yes... our apartment. billie and i moved in together about two weeks ago and everything is still really strange for us.
waking up next to her every single morning makes it all worth it, though. im feel more than blessed.

another important thing to mention... my dad.
as you know he woke up from his coma the last day of billies tour - which was more than just an overwhelming day for all of us - and since then he's been a better human thoroughly.

he doesn't take life for granted anymore. none of it.
billie and him have been getting closer just like pamela and her, which is the purest and sweetest thing for me to experience, considering the rough start the four of us had.

we enjoy spending lost of time together. mostly at weekends or chill dinner nights.
there's always a lot to talk about when you're in a relationship with billie eilish and breaking new grounds as a couple - especially one that's constantly being followed around by cameras and strangers.

it's insane how billie is able to keep me so calm even with all of the attention still on us, because well... the public hasn't calmed down a lot ever since we had our outing in front of thousands of fans, live.

ℵ

"babygirl, are you listening?" i hear billie's soft voice speak, pulling me out of my daydreams.

"sorry, i was in my head. what were you saying?" i apologize, looking up at her sitting innocently behind the kitchen counter with her head resting on her hands. she looks tired.

"nothing just trying to talk to you." she nervously chuckles, shaking it off.

"how was the meeting by the way? i totally forgot to ask." i question as i put the towel down and slowly make my way over to snake my arms around her waist from behind.

"same old shit, don't wanna talk about it... can we watch a movie or cuddle? im tired."

"sure, mamas. i noticed how exhausted you are. come on." i smile, locking her soft fingers with my own and pulling her up from the chair to lead her into the small living room.

we love our little home but have already been thinking to go bigger... we want to fullfill our dreams of owning our very own house.
you know, where each of us can have their own room of stuff they love and are passionate about.
of course billie is already dreaming of a huge home studio, since finneas' tends to get flooded with water from time to time, endangering all of their equipment.
i, on the other hand would love to have a big fairytale closet with ground level mirrors and beauty lights everywhere.

maybe one day, i will be able to say we did it.