a Little Blurry | Billie Eilish

¹⁴ hope

billie pov

"then let me."

judging by the look on her face, that probably wasn't the smartest thing to say. but she's still my girlfriend.

"please." i beg quietly, trying not to sound like i'm pressuring her.

jordan remains silent.

"okay, let's go to sleep." i sigh, running my hands over my forhead, walking past her towards the bedroom.

"wait." she whispers, making me stop instantly.

i turn around to find her hand stretched out to me.

i take it without another word. sometimes it's for the best not to say anything.

she leads me to the big mirror in our master bedroom, stopping once we're right in front of it. me behind her.

"take your time." i whisper, meeting her gaze in our reflection.

"be quiet."

oh, okay...

i nod, signaling jordan that i'm ready whenever she is.

her soft, little hand looks to find mine and as soon as she does, she lifts it up, revealing the size difference... unimportant.
after staring at it for a few seconds, she seems to change her mind, dropping my hand again.

gladly, she continues, staring at herself in the mirror before lightly getting hold of the collar of her shirt and pulling it until every inch of her upper body is exposed to me. except for her bra.
wow.

yes, she's lost a couple of pounds, which hurts to look at, but besides that, she's still my beautiful girlfriend.
i knew i'd love her body anytime, anyday.

"hurry." jordan says. her voice thembling, her hands skakey, almost losing hold of the shirt.

i quickly blink, catching myself taken aback.

"can i?" i question, lifting my hand slowly, asking for consent.

"i don't know." she says, her eyes glossy.

"that's alright. you can put your shirt back on now." i smile timidly, trying to calm her down.

her breath has hitched once more.
not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

i expected to see jordan get dressed again but i was wrong, a tear now forming.

"hey." i call, rushing to her side and taking the shirt out her hands.
"you're shaking so much."

"i know." she mutters, sighing.

"i can put it on for you."

"would you?"

of course i would.

"of course."

"thank you."

"shh.." i shush her and she turns around to me, still struggling to maintain her balance.
"arms up, princess."

she does as she's told and without touching her skin, i get the shirt back on.

looks like that took a great load off her shoulders.

"relax, baby."

"i'm trying. sorry."

"you're good, come on. you tired?" i ask, glancing at the comfy looking bed behind us.