a Little Blurry | Billie Eilish

³ secret house

jordan pov

long story short, we bought it.
well, not really. i insisted on seeing the house first before we actually fucking buy it and it took me some whines and pouting for billie to agree.

but here we are, in front of - what billie calls it - our house.

i love it so much. the neighborhood is gated and peaceful, which radiates this comforting feeling we were always looking for.

silence and sympathy. ideal.

"look at this." billie whispers, simply taking the mansion in.

"you will love it even more as soon as you step into the stunning foyer." our broker speaks, getting ready to put the keys in.
"actually, do you want to unlock the door?"

"yes." billie and i say at the same time, making the lady laugh.

"you do it, baby." billie says, taking the key and handing it over to my slightly shaky hand.

i meet her gaze for a second before stepping forward and hooking the key in its lock.

"gimme your hand, babe." i speak, grabbing my girlfriend's hand and putting it over mine.
"one, two, three."

as the door swings open, both pairs of our eyes are immediately met with a good deal of natural light coming from the huge windows. just like we had expected.

"fucking-" billie starts, getting cut of by me before she can continue.

"gorgeous." i finish.

"i knew you'd like it."

ℵ

"crazy, right?" billie asks me as we get into dragon, closing the doors behind us and her starting to drive.

we made the deal.

"yes." i whisper as my gaze follows the houses slowly passing by.

"i love you." she speaks, her hand finding mine.

"i love you, too. thanks for this." i say, meeting her eyes before she turns back to look at the street.

"for what?"

"the house, dummy." i giggle, squeezing her hand softly.

"thank you for moving in with me." she replies, now stroking my knuckles as i blush.
"let's go eat something nice. let's celebrate."

"celebrate?" i ask, my smile fading.

"yes, don't you want to?" billie asks, her tone changing into a worried one.

"i- i do." i lie.

"okay then, let's go to a restaurant and invite the fam!" she smiles, swinging our intertwined hands around.

"sounds good." i force, turing my head away once again.

when we arrive at our current home, billie immediately sits down on the sofa, opening her macbook again.

"what are you doing?" i ask, taking my shoes off first.

"looking for a restaurant, baby." she says, shaking her head as she begins to scroll through dozens of google results.

"oh yeah."

as soon as she found the right one for our celebration, she takes out her phone and dials the number.

i decide to leave the room and lie down a bit, im tired.

"okay, seven thirty. sounds good. thank you, bye." i hear from the other room, footsteps coming closer and soon billie enters the room.
"done. we gone party tonight, babygirl." she says, laying down next to me on our bed.

"for how many people?"

"you, me, finneas, claudia, both of our parents and drew. but i said 10 people so you can bring another person if you want."

"okey." i smile weakly, closing my eyes again as i try to think of another person to bring along.

my mind wanders off to my job... who do i wanna take with us?

i don't even want to go celebrate in the first place, if i'm honest.
so many people, drinks, food and probably press.

"you okay?" billie's voice rings, her arm snaking around my waste from behind.

"yes, bil. just tryna think of who to bring."

"hmm, how bout that girl you told me about a few weeks ago." she suggests, giving me an idea.

"naomi?"

"yeah, that was her name."

naomi... where do i start?
she is one of my modeling friends, well... we weren't always friends. and it's still kind of awkward between us but she's definitely fun to be around.
in the beginning, me and naomi were more like rivals. obviously, since we are both modeling.
we had a rough start but when we both grew in our carreers, we became better.
helping each other out, sharing helpful tips and so on...

"yeah, i'll ask her. thanks baby." i thank billie, holding her arm and pulling her body closer to mine.

"great." she speaks, kissing my neck softly. over and over again.

when billie starts nibbling on my sweet spot, a moan unintentionally slips out from between my lips.

"hm, you like that?" my girlfriend teases, gliding her hands all over my stomach until they reach my chest.

she begins to massage my cleavage, turning my on my back and moving her lips from my neck to my lips.
as our kisses turn more and more heated, my anxiety grows more and more.

don't let her know.

"i missed this." billie moans, pulling back for a second but going straight back in, this time sliding her tongue along my lips.

"bil-"

"shh." she shushes me, putting her fingers under my chin, deepening her kisses.

but once she moves on top of me and her hands find the hem of shirt, my panic increses.
billie begins to lift it off of my stomach, revealing part of my skin.

no more.

"that's enough. we need to get ready." i speak, pulling away from her soft touch, grabbing her hands and letting my shirt fall back where it belongs.

"what-"

"i'm sorry." i say, dodging her confused stares and stand up, leaving her behind.

"but-"

"i don't want to be late to my own celebration." i cut her off, walking towards the bathroom and once i made it inside i close the door, breaking down.

✶
authors note

what is bothering jordan?