Carlo : Ti salveró amore mio

Chapter 3

There's a stillness about grief.

A process.

An overwhelming hush.

Some days it screams about the thing I miss most. Some days it's a peace that there is more. Some days it's a silent mending, as the tiny pieces are put back together.

In any form, I don't mind the quiet. It's a sign of endless love, a richness, an undying hope. I am learning that the quiet is part of the scarred mess, of grief, of aching, of mending, of becoming whole when part of you is gone.

It's sacred and holy, and because of that it makes me feel an inch closer to them.

I don't want the quiet to leave.

Not just yet at least.

The loss of my unborn child hasn't seemed to impact me as rough as I thought it would. Yes I feel guilty, but then my mind is telling me it's dumb to hurt.

Why would I mourn the thing I never met?

"Adelaide, eat please." Axel begs as we sit in the small kitchen next to the gym. "You have to eat this before the fight. I don't want to force you like last time."

I cringe at the thought of it but still refuse the food in front of me. I don't have an eating disorder, I'm just not hungry and I'm not depressed, I'm just a little sad and I'm not giving up, I'm just a little tired right now.

I'm fine, I always have been.

Two large men walk into the kitchen and one of them slaps me, my head swings to the side and then I bring it back to face forward. Axel looks scared and angry but doesn't do anything. I'm guessing these two guys either heard the conversation or have just come to release their anger.

They bring straps out and it tells me they heard the conversation.

They pull me into a chair and strap my arms and legs to it, Axel silently turns the plate of food into a liquid with a blender so they can tip it down my throat.

No matter how much I scream or how loud I shout they continue to do this. One of them comes up behind me and grabs my hair, yanking my head to be facing the ceiling. The other comes with the glass of the watered food.

"Please, don't." I sob.

The one behind me squeezes my nose, suffocating me until my mouth falls open to breathe and the drink gets poured down my throat. He lets go of my nose so I can swallow and I immediately gag.

"Stop!" I scream trying to get out of the straps. "Stop stop stop." I repeat at the top of my lungs, before it sounds as if I'm underwater because they've tipped more.

I try to spit it out but he covers my mouth. I scream under his hand, gurgling. "OKAY!" I scream when I finally get a chance to breathe.

"Who do you think you're shouting at?" The one in front of me grits out.

"I'm going to take a wild guess here." I cough slightly. "And I'm going to say you." I cough more, feeling the want to stick my fingers down my throat.

"Little shit!" He shouts and goes to hit me again but the kitchen door opens.

Even though my head is still being pulled back I can see Rye walk into the room with an out of breath Axel beside him.

Axel got him?

The room falls silent and the only sound that can be heard is my heavy breathing.

"Let her go." Rye orders.

He lets me go and pushes my head forward, I roll my head around trying to get the ache out of it. My hair is sticking to my face and I can feel the drink of food dribble down my chin a little bit.

"Now get out. She has to get ready." And with that the two guys walk out and so does Rye.

Axel comes running over to me and un straps me from the chair.

"Why?" I croak out.

"They're not allowed to hit you before one of your fights." He mumbles. "There's more rules but you're not really allowed to know them."

I nod my head and he helps me stand from the chair. "Cmon. Get showered."

Axel holds my hand all the way to one of the bathrooms and locks the door. He spins a wooden chair they've put in here so it's facing the corner and gives me at least a tiny bit of privacy as I get into the shower.

****

When it comes to my fights I'm not actually allowed to win. The last time he told me not to and I did... let's just say I had a blood bath for a week.

The doctor would patch me up and then Rye would get at me again. Harder each time. I have to basically make it seem like I'm winning then when Rye gives me a signal I have to stop.

After the signal I can throw a few punches but they can't be effective, I have to allow my opponent to beat the living shit out of me.

I stand on the floor with people spectating standing in an almost square shape waiting for my opponent. Some of Rye's fighting places have a padded floor and an actual ring. But this one is on the hard floor.

My opponent for tonight walks through the crowd and he honestly looks like Shreck. He has the body of a bodybuilder and the height of a giant.

If Dwayne Johnson and Shrek had a baby, this would be him.

This is going to be fun.

I get into a stance and Rye comes into my view on the platform a little above us. There's a horn and the crowd starts to place bets and shout and cheer. A few people come out of secret doors and start to sell Rye's drugs.

The man charges at me and I step to the side as he runs past me, I punch his back as soon as it gets into my sight. He hurls forward and into the crowd, they fall over and some manage to push him back into the square.

"Hey big guy." I smile and wave a little as I side step a few times, not crossing my ankles so I don't trip.

He grunts and walks back up to me and throws a punch. I duck and punch him in the stomach, turning my fist at the same time so it drills into him. He hunches a little and I punch him where his floating ribs are making my fist shake a little so it sends vibrations throughout his body.

A red laser is shone onto the floor and I look up to Rye.

Already?

He glares at me and I stand up a little straighter taking a few deep breaths. My opponent charges at me once he's recovered and I pretend to try and move out of the way but he runs into me tackling me to the floor.

My head smacks off the floor underneath me and he punches my face and stomach. Anywhere he can get until eventually.

I black out.

I wake up to the feeling of my arms tied above my head and a jolt in my stomach and legs. I open my eyes tiredly and wince at the pressure on my head.

Rye stands in front of me with a baseball bat swinging and swinging letting everything out.

"Are- Are you done?" I spit out my blood choking a little. "Have you got your anger out?"

"Nope." He grunts and hits me again.

Now I'm awake I can feel all my injuries old and new. And I'm left with excruciating pain.

"Why are you doing this?"

He stops and walks up to me slowly dragging the bat behind him. "Why not?" He asks, his face getting too close to me.

"Um, maybe because you're gonna kill me." I shrug.

"I'm not going to kill you, I don't kill the things I love." He tilts his head to the side looking me up and down.

"Oh." I chuckle. "You just hurt them."

He laughs and surprises me by smashing his lips onto mine. I struggle to move my head back since I'm restricted and he carries on moving his lips against my still ones.

His eyes are closed and he moves his body closer to mine, I move my leg and kick him in his balls. He hunches forward holding himself and I knee his head as he kneels down. "Don't kiss me." I spit on him.