Paradise {COMPLETED}

Chapter 17

I'm sick of all these voices inside me. They tell me I'm ugly and not worth it. I'm trying to not to cut anymore, I've been clean for a month now.

I log onto my twitter, scrolling and checking my new followers and such. I have some new followers, the guys, their wives, and some lightbulbs who probably want to see more pictures of us. I open my DM, and see one from a lightbulb account. I open it, hoping to see something positive. Boy, am I wrong.

"Wow. I can't believe the guys even like you. They probably don't, they just can't stand to tell you the truth. You're ugly, fat, and stupid. Nobody could ever love you, not even Alan. I don't care if you block me or whatever I just wanted to tell you. Seriously, you should just give up now because you'll never amount to anything."

I close the app, and throw my phone onto the bed. I do my best to hide the tears, because what if it's the truth?

"Mia, love, you okay?" Joey asks, softly. I sigh, "I'm okay, Joey, honest." He squeezes my hand in a reassuring way, "You sure? You can tell me anything." I nod, "I'm fine." Even though I'm not.

He looks uncertain but decides to trust me, "Okay, well I'm right next door." I nod as he leaves. I take my bunk curtain and pull it closed, they can't see me this way. I burst into tears, and muffle them with my blanket.

Is everything she said true? Does Alan really care about me, or is this just a sympathy thing? What about the other guys? Is it all an act? I really love them, but what if the feeling isn't mutual?

I hear a soft knock on the wall by my bunk. "Mia, love, are you crying?" Joey asks. "No," I say, even though it's clear I am. Joey pulls the curtain open and climbs into the bed next to me. He closes the curtain, again and turns to me.

"Come here," he coaxes, holding open his arms. I envelope myself in his hug. "Now, you wanna tell me what's wrong?" He asks, stroking my hair. I look up at him and sigh, "Joey, please don't lie, I want the truth. Am I pretty?"

He nods, "You're the most beautiful girl I know, inside and out." My cheeks get warm, as I ask my next question, "Do you care about me?"

He nods again, "Of course I do, Mia. I love you, and I'm not going anywhere. Promise." I grin a bit, "Okay good." I lay my head on his chest and listen to his steady heartbeat.

"I have a question now, love," he says. "Mhm?" I ask, anticipating the question. "You're not thinking of cutting again, are you?" He asks, nervously.

I grab my phone, and open the twitter message, and show it to Joey. He reads it, and locks my phone. "She's totally wrong, Mia, don't let her get to you," he says.

I begin crying softly. Joey rubs my back, while my head lays on his chest. "It's okay, love, I'm not going anywhere," he whispers. I continue crying, maybe I'm upset, or just overwhelmed by love.

"Thanks Jo-Jo," I whisper. He uses his thumb and brushes away the last of my tears, "Don't sweat it."

Even though, I'm now calmed down, Joey sits with me in my bunk. "I'm very proud of you, Mia," he whispers. "For what?" I ask, furrowing my brow. "You're a strong little girl, that's why," he shrugs. I smile, and attack him in a hug, "Thanks for talking with me, Joe." He grins, "My pleasure."

"Mia? Joey? Where the heck you crazy kids at?" Chad asks from outside the bunks. I giggle, as we exit the bunk. "Hi Chaddy!" I call out.

He turns to us, "Where were you guys at?" Joey points to my bunk, "In there." Chad looks confused, "Why?"

"I'm gonna show you, calm down," I say grabbing my phone. I walk back to the TV room, where Alan and Caleb are seated.

"Hey, I'd like to show you guys something," I tell them. Alan nods, "Okay, sweetie, what is it?"

I shoot a worried glance at Joey, who sends me one back that says 'you've got this.'

I unlock my phone and open the twitter message. I pass it around, letting each of the guys read it. I watch their facial expressions, trying not to cry again.

"Stupid haters," Chad mumbles, handing me my phone. I slide it into my pocket, waiting for somebody, anybody to say something.

"You okay, kiddo?" Caleb finally asks. "I honestly don't know," I sigh. "I love you," Alan says. Unknowingly, I run into my arms, feeling safe in his familiar embrace.

He holds me close to him, and I feel secure. Nobody can hurt me when I'm here. "Let out all your feelings. Tell us, we're here," Alan says.

"I thought whenever I moved to Nashville all the bullying would stop. I thought I'd never get an urge to cut again. Neither stopped. I feel like the same, broken girl I was when I moved here. My life is still broken, and my heart is still broken. Nobody understands! I can't take this life anymore, I'd do anything to escape it, even just for a little while. I wish life could be like the fairytales. I don't wanna feel pain, heartache, and fear. I don't know what to do," I feel hot tears sting my face, as I tell them my thoughts.

Part of me expects them to kick me off the bus, but another part tells me how much they love me.

I begin crying again, but this time not quietly, I'm sobbing in Alan's arms. "It's okay beautiful, you'll get through this," he whispers.

"I want you to know one thing, that girl is just jealous. You have four amazing guys, like us, who care about you, and just want you to be happy. I love you, darling, I'd protect you with my life," Chad says. I move from Alan's arms to his. "I love you too," is all I can manage to say.

"Just know, that all of us are here. We aren't going anywhere. You can tell us anything and everything. You can trust u a with your biggest secrets. You don't have to hide them anymore," Caleb says. I nod, and run into Caleb's arms. He rests his head on top of mine, "You're a fighter," he whispers to me.

"You don't have to wonder, you're wonderfully made. You're the smartest little girl I know. There's big things in you future, I can feel it. Just trust God and His plans," Joey says. I'm soon wrapped in Joey's arms again. Then the other guys join us, and we have a group hug.

"Don't let the get to you, darling, and you'll be just fine," Chad says. I nod, "Thanks guys! I couldn't ask for better friends." Caleb smiles, "We couldn't ask for a better Mia either."

A/N
This chapter is dedicated to @GodsGirlInATardis because she's awesome sauce and can make me laugh a ton.

Xox
~Elisabeth💜🐘