Ice Blink

34: Kadzait

Keeonah allowed them to stay in the Kadzait camp. Amarok tried to protest, but Nuna had fixed him with a steely glare that, for once, put an end to the argument. They hadn't fully healed, and wouldn't get far on their own if they left now. The Kadzait had even recovered most of their packs and weapons. Nuna couldn't stop thinking about the little boy whose mother had bled to death. She hoped he was alive. She hoped the Ikkuma hadn't found him.

After a while, lying in the shelter became unbearable, so she spent the better part of an hour arguing with Keeonah until she let her get some fresh air with a branch fashioned into a walking stick.

Nuna avoided the Kadzait as she walked between the domed hide structures. All of them had the same black streak across their eyes – marking their separation from the Takaani, she guessed. It made them look menacing.

Nuna paused when raised voices drifted from behind one of the shelters. She was about to back away, unwilling to eavesdrop, but then she recognised Amarok's tones.

"You betrayed us!"

"No, we left because your mentor – your Commander – went crazy, and you didn't even notice!" Keeonah replied hotly.

"You could have fixed things in a way which didn't hurt Illulik. Or the Takaani. Or me."

Nuna's eyes widened and she pressed against the side of the shelter.

"You were blind with loyalty, 'Rok, anything I could have done would've hurt you. Anyway, I heard rumours the Mad Wolf is still out there somewhere."

"What?" he breathed.

"Only rumours, mind you. The gods know I won't be chasing after them any time soon."

"Veris... is still alive?"

"I've put it all behind me, you should do the same."

"Wait, Keeonah..." Was that longing in Amarok's voice? "Who are you really loyal to?"

"The Kadzait, my people. We'll do whatever it takes to keep ourselves alive. Don't expect a soppy reunion from anyone in this camp." Keeonah strode away, crunching footsteps fading.

Now it was time for Nuna to slip quietly back inside. But before she could move, Amarok rounded the corner and spotted her.

"Um." She coughed. "Hi."

He didn't respond, his expression unreadable.

There was no point pretending she hadn't heard. "She sounds... difficult."

To my relief he huffed a laugh, then winced, a hand going to his stomach. "You don't know the half of it."

"Shouldn't you be resting?"

"Don't tell Niju, please. I don't think I'd survive his wrath."

"Your secret is safe with me."

He blew out a long breath. "I guess you heard about Commander Veris. She was my predecessor, and along with the old Amarok, she taught me everything."

"What's your real name, Amarok?"

"I don't have one. I was chosen at birth, selected by old Amarok to pay back a debt. My parents saved his life, so he gave me the highest honour he could. That also meant my parents had to send me away as soon as I could walk to start my training before anyone made an attempt on my life."

"Oh. So this... Vera..."

"She was a great woman. One of the strongest people I knew. The thought of her still out there somewhere, wandering the tundra alone, vulnerable, perhaps trying to cling to her old self – her sanity... it makes me want to go looking for her, but how can I leave you?"

Nuna's heart skipped a beat before she realised he meant the Inua.

"No one should be alone when North Ice is this dangerous, not even you," she said. Please stay, she wanted to say.

"Sedna gave me an order, I have no choice but to follow it."

"Luckily for you," Niju said, and Nuna spun on her heel to face him as he rounded a corner, "our next destination is Kirasaq, where all news gathers. If Commander Veris has been wandering around, we'll find the rumours there."

"Why Kirasaq?" Amarok asked. "I thought you wanted to find the second spirit temple."

"I've read all my scrolls and I don't know where the Temple of Masks is. The only place I can think of to look is the great library of Kirasaq."

Gratitude welled up inside Nuna. Amarok didn't have to choose between loyalty and love – yet.

*

Nuna sat bolt upright in the middle of the night, biting down on her knuckles to stifle a scream. It felt like an anchor weighed on her chest, pressing her ribs against her heart, preventing her from taking a full breath.

She couldn't escape the memories of the battle, not even in sleep.

Fumbling in the dark, she pulled her parka and mukluks on and stumbled outside until she'd left the camp behind. Dropping to her knees on the riverbank, she plunged her face into the snow and released a muffled scream.

The tears on her lashes froze instantly. She breathed in the snow until the worst of the panic was over, shaking from a mixture of fear and cold. It burned her skin and she relished the pain, trying to let it ground her.

When Nuna looked up, a white shape glowed against the blackness of the night.

It couldn't be...

Any doubts she had about the spirits vanished as Nanuq trudged towards her from the open tundra, his thick fur rippling over his huge frame.

He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, his black eyes full of life.

Nuna held her breath when he stopped in front of her. She extended a shaky hand, her chest still jumping with suppressed sobs.

Nanuq moved his head forward until his muzzle pressed against her palm.

"Oh, Nanuq," she whispered, and shuffled towards him. He lowered himself to the ground with a snort that blew a plume of steam into the air, and Nuna buried her arms and face in his long fur. She sunk into the bear, breathing in the musky animal scent of him, surrendering herself completely.

She kept reliving the moment the soldier had pinned her down. The moment she had killed to save Toklo by jamming her knife into an eye. The moment the mother of the boy had died, soaked in her own blood.

She would never be free from these burdens again.

Nanuq's head turned and he gave a soft warning grunt. She looked up to see Keeonah crouching a respectful distance away, looking at Nanuq with awe.

Nuna didn't want the woman who'd betrayed Amarok to see her like this.

"No need to look so distrustful," Keeonah said. "I can see you're struggling, so I thought I'd give you this." She stretched across the gap between them and handed Nuna a drawstring pouch. She looked inside to see a fine white substance that reminded her of snow, or ground salt crystals.

"What is it?"

"We call it white quartz, and it sharpens the senses. Take it when you most need it. It'll help, trust me."

What would her mother say? Don't ingest anything if you don't know exactly what it is and what it does. "Is it safe?"

"We use it ourselves, so yes, it is. It might save your life one day."

"Why are you giving this to me?"

"Because you look like you'll need it."

Nuna examined the pouch, about to politely refuse, but when she looked up, Keeonah had gone.