DAUGHTER OF BILLIE EILISH

7) talk

Y/N's POV:
It annoyed me. And I felt lonely. Mom definitely is together with him. I didn't want it to change. I liked it the way it was. I decide to text Lea about it since she's my best friend. I think it's morning where she is so that's perfect.

After I texted with her I felt a little better so I got up brushed my teeth and went to bed.

Next day

When I woke up all I could think about was mom. Why doesn't she tell me? I stood out of my bed and took a shower. After the shower I brushed my teeth and got dressed.

^outfit of the day

I headed downstairs where everyone was already sitting at the table waiting for me to come down for breakfast. They're all so weird. They're quite. Suspicious quiet.

I sat down and began to ate the breakfast. When I was done I put the emty dishes to the sink and thanked them. Still everyone was weird. I felt left out. Like I wasn't even there. Or like I'm not a part of them. Maybe I'm not.

Peaches, Finneas and I were walking outside when I heard mom whispering to Claudia „she has a good bond with you so when she freaks out please go after her" oh no. I can feel it coming.

She's going to tell me. And than. There she was coming out too. Mom. Mhm. Imma burry myself after that.

Grandma- „didn't you guys wanted to go for a walk" she asked mom. Yup here we go.
B- „yeah we will leave by now, y/n, finneas & claudia you ready?"
C&F: yup
B- „y/n?" she sent me a warm smile

I responded her with a death stare. Knowing exactly what will happen. We started to walk and mom and I were together and behind us were fin and Claudia. But they were so far away from us probably 40 meters or more.

B- „sweetie?" ohhhh hell nah mom

I looked at her while we kept walking with an annoyed face

Y- „what the fuck are you guys hiding? I know y'all do. I'm not 5"
B- „listen... mom has now a boyfriend and I want you to accept him. You don't need to like him but at least accept him. He's really nice and he likes kids-"
Y: „great then fucking make one but I'm not a fucking child anymore."
B- „hey, he will like you, he's already nervous to meet you but he will soon"

I was boiling inside. I just wanted to fucking murder him. I just wanna scream. Now I also should meet this fucker who destroys everything? Nah.

B- „he will be coming here..." she said nervously
B- „today..."
B- „y/n?"
B- „hey ignoring me also doesn't help"
Y- „i already knew it okay? You know how much it hurt me knowing I should always tell you everything but you keep such a big thing a secret? I cut myself mom. Oh and let's not forget the other 3 times when you ‚forgot' me at school but after it, you had big ass hickeys on your neck. It hurts me."

I was so hurt and broken inside. I just didn't wanna talk with her now. I turned around to go back to the house. At first Mom, Finneas and Claudia ran after me but they just couldn't get me so they let me go.

When I got there, grandma and grandpa weren't there, i guess they went shopping for food. I was so fucking mad and hurt. I needed something to take the pain away.

< trigger warning
self harm

I ran upstairs to my room to grab a blade that I hid there. I locked myself in the bathroom and slowly let myself down to the floor. When I sat i took the cold blade and it hit my skin. I stung like shit but it also felt good. I cut several times on my thighs.

trigger warning
over >

When I finished I cleaned myself up, put on a bandage to make sure I'm not gonna bleed thru my pants, put on some grey joggers, cleaned up the bathroom and unlocked the door.

I hid the blade again and just laid in my bed with my face into the pillow. I heard my bedroom door open revealing Finneas. I looked up and hid my face in the pillow again.

He sat on my bed right next to me and laid down. Fin rubbed my back a little before he grabbed the side of me and pulled me closer to him. He put his arms around me and i turned around to face his chest.

I began to cry and he laid on his back so i could lay on his chest. I did and after minutes of just crying and me hugging him, i calmed down. He wiped the last tear away before speaking.

F- „you know that your mom didn't fell in love with him because she wanted to hurt you right?"
Y- „I know she doesn't want to hurt me but it still hurts and makes me mad"
F- „why does it make you mad?" „nothing will change dear, if there's someone's loving mom or someone's loving you, nothings gonna change. She still loves you the same and she will always support you with all she can"
I just answered with a quick „mhm".

The doorbell rung which meant that he's here...