Gazing into the Abyss

Editor: Bubbles

Special thanks to a friend who suggested the idea of a journal.

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Sunday, 16 December:

What is it about death that fascinates us so much? The thought of death and the afterlife had been on my mind for days, so as soon as I had some time on my hands, I decided to take a deeper look at the subject. Humanity has sought answers for these questions—and others—since the time of the ancient Greeks and Hebrews. Is it possible to "survive" death? Are we going to recognize ourselves? Will we get to see the people we have left behind or the people who have gone before us? Will our actions in this life be rewarded or punished? What happens when we die or when history finally ends? What will be our destination?

Rome flipped to the next page. He rested his back against some pillows stacked against the headboard. The pages appeared somewhat blurry. He squinted at the words, trying to decipher his scribbles. Despite looking a bit fuzzy, the pages stared back at him. He inferred that the long hours he'd spent staring at his laptop had degraded his eyesight. He sighed to himself before making a mental note about getting it checked tomorrow. Not now, though. The sun had long gone below the horizon and the neighbours had settled in for the night, cuddling with their blankets and snoring softly.

A joyous cry escaped his lips when he realized that when he squinted hard enough, he could make out the words. Upon turning around, he saw that it was almost eleven p.m.

'Well, now would be a good time to review,' he thought to himself.

Wednesday, 19 December:

"The history of the afterlife is the history of our hopes that there will be something after death and of our fears that there will be nothing."

This quote struck me hard while skimming through an article describing the afterlife. Obviously, I had imagined this possibility. The thought seemed absurd, so stupid that it was quite hard for me to believe. I would rather believe in devils with two horns and men juggling through levels of hell. After following multiple readings of various theories, I have concluded that the common thread connecting all these religious perspectives is vague. All of these narratives are based on the expectation that life will continue after death. The soul was believed to be weighed in the balance, judged based on its virtue or vice, and sent either to Abraham's Bosom or to Hades. It is very probable that European colonialism had played a role in propagating this idea.

Rome reflected on his initial curiosity regarding death. He wondered if he would live on in spirit form after death, or if his life would end like a tragedy movie—people would cry, applaud, and then forget what had happened. The memory of his tragic ending might sometimes bring them to a state of momentary melancholy, but their lives would eventually resume, in all its mundanity. Was it possible for him to make contact with the physical world? Would he be granted the boon of making contact with people and interfering in the corporeal world?

Tuesday, 25 December:

"The concept can be traced back to the 3rd century when people believed in immortal souls and a mortal body. Following death, the physical form of the human body would become a spirit, living an enlightened existence."

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Honestly, I believe that if we lived an enlightened life, someone would have found a way to contact us by now and reveal the afterlife's secrets instead of letting us speculate our way around it with such ambiguous research. I think we're just reassuring ourselves by saying these things. The human race refuses to accept that death is the end of everything.