what was once so lovely. | jaeyong

the fifth.

<12:39am>
<present>

Taeyong laid on his bed, completely melancholic. It all felt too peculiar, to see Jaehyun walk him home without a kiss nor an 'i love you'.

He turned to his side and his gaze fell upon the man in the moon. Its glorious silver glow gently held Taeyong's face, comforting the lonely night. He had a troubled time sleeping. His mind was clogged with an array of emotions, thoughts drowning his will to dream something nice.

As he shifted his view to the ceiling, he closed his eyes. With wanting to fall asleep, he envisioned a life with Jaehyun. Immaculate it was to imagine Jaehyun calling his name as they both stare deeply at the sunset. As they bathe in the golden light, Taeyong felt like he was in heaven.

He changed the reel of imagination, switching to another scenario. In this one, they were both wearing tuxedos. The fairy lights littered across the tree branches, the sound of the water sprouting out of the fountain serenaded them, alongside the violins and piano. Jaehyun held out his hand and Taeyong accepted it with full passion.

They waltzed to the sound of forever, utter romance. Taeyong was so far deep into the imagination that his fingers began to tap to the false music, his lips moving to the words that he wished he could have a chance to say to Jaehyun. He opened his eyes, not wanting for the imagination to continue once more.

As much as it was beautiful, it killed him to see a scenario that would not happen in a lifetime. Taeyong stood up from his bed, his feet touching the cold, wooden floor. He walked silently to the kitchen to get something to eat or to drink, at least something to knock him out immediately.

When he was about to get near the stairs, he stopped at Johnny's room. Muffled voices of what seemed to belong to the couple. They were probably wide awake, talking about the past, the present, and the future. They were probably planning a whole life ahead of them. Taeyong dropped all his plans and stood near the door, wanting to hear more.

"I'm scared, Johnny." He heard Ten's voice, so vulnerable and open.

Ten was mostly a person who was blunt or took nothing seriously. Therefore, hearing him at the edge of breaking was a new
melody.

"Why? I'm right here aren't I?" Johnny's voice echoed deeply.

Taeyong was captivated as to where this conversation would head off to.

"I'm afraid of getting old and watching you die, or I would die before you and you'd find someone else." Ten's volume decreased when he got to the end.

"I'm afraid of getting old too, but being old means we have laughed, lived, and loved. And if you die before me, I'd follow." Johnny's voice was laced with reassurance.

Taeyong sat down near the door, his eyes out of focus but his ears were completely glued to the conversation. It was a scary topic but something that he did not know it could be a possibility to tackle. Amidst the eavesdropping, he, too, wished he had someone to spend a night like this, drowning in the endless sea of conversations.

"Do you think Taeyong would be fine?" Ten spoke once more.

"Why wouldn't he be? I know Jaehyun would be waiting for him." Johnny replied.

Taeyong hugged his knees, his eyes attached to the empty space as he smiled bitterly. If only they knew. If only they knew that Jaehyun got tired of waiting and found someone better. Jaehyun hated him too, but he could not blame him. Not a single bit.

"Johnny, ten years is such a long time. I don't think Jaehyun would waiting for that long."

"Who knows? If he truly loved him, he would wait."