Pages Of Life

Deep

"A person who's in deep needs a person who's willing to get drowned with them."

"Are you willing to get drowned?" I asked him as we sat on the glittering white sand beach of Cagwait. Using a pair of slippers as a little chair to avoid the sands sticking on our pants.

"Being drowned in the water?" He answered while looking at the beautiful sunset that's near yet so far from us. It's always the most beautiful ending in life.

"Being in deep." Looking at the sea creates waves of thoughts within me.

"What do you mean?" He looked at me-he was confused. Maybe he was thinking that I'm being that weird potato again.

"Nothing. It's too deep." I looked back and smiled. A smile of assurance.

"I can swim." He told me. I was taken a back. The last time I checked, he didn't want to talk things like this.

"If you'll swim, you'll float. I'm at the bottom drowning." As I've said these words, a slight pain was present in my heart.

"Then, swim." He told me; confused again.

"Can u get drowned with me instead?" Having the courage to ask him this is something to be proud of.

"Is it safe?" He asked. I don't know what to react, but I felt another pain.

"No." I directly answered.

Drowning means suffocating with unsaid words, being held under with large vines of betrayals in the past, and the strong current of emotions. It was dangerous.

"Hmm, okay. I'll go." I don't know what should I feel but one thing for sure, he's not sure. maybe he just told this for me to have assurance, but I'm not a potato for nothing, I know.

"Then come. Stop swimming." I tried.

"Why get drowned if you can learn how to swim?" I can say he can't get out from the shore. I can say he can't take the risk to dive for me.

"You are afraid."

"I'm not. There are options, to get drowned or to learn how to swim."

I was taken a back, but I thought being here means having someone whom I can say that's willing to risk everything and is not afraid to be with me. I'm not born in the shore. I'm born deep within the ocean floor.

I don't need saving. I don't want to be saved. Swimming means being on the upper side, It's too high. I want to be deep, to take things deeper. Being deep means a lot.

"I don't hate being in deep. It's just too much." He said.

Then maybe I am hard to love. I'm too much.

It is too deep that my mind went blank.