Mine has been a life of much shame {DISCONTINUED}

chapter 1

This was the worst. Just 2 minutes before, asshole bos- Mori had called Dazai and him in for a mission. In Paris. With undercover identities. And in Paris. Where there was also some stupid hawkmoth guy just floating around and 'akumatizing' poor unsuspecting citizens.

Why? Because the mayor of the city was an idiot and a coward who managed to piss off at least 2 mafia groups in France and London and needed their help to save his and his daughter's smelly ass. Now, Chuuya would have loved to refuse (especially with the identities they had assume, which mori had explained) but he was devoted to the port mafia. Fatally so. And in the end, while Chuuya was left flabbergasted at the identity he had to assume, Dazai had accepted. Why?

That's because if there are 3 things Dazai loves unconditionally, it's canned crab (which was extremely unhealthy with the extent dazai ate them in. His shipping container was full of cans. The only way he wasn't malnourished was because of Kouyou and Chuuya forcing him to eat other stuff), manga (especially psychological ones. He spent 2 days in that container binge-reading Tokyo ghoul and chuuya had to literally drag him out by force), deceiving and lying (Dazai loved seeing the horrified face of people when they found out just how he really was. Especially when he has a 'kind and sweet' façade. Hilarious faces made up for the suffering.) and F***ING ANNOY CHUUYA SO MUCH HE WAS READY TO STRANGLE. THAT. BASTARD.

Dazai knew Chuuya hated undercover missions, specifically if he had to act like some goody-two-shoes when he was really beyond saving, and so he accepted while chuuya was still processing just what mori had told him about his 'character'. Chuuya swore, if this kept up, his hair would be gray before he was even 18 and bald by the time he was 24.

Ah! Chuuya had been complaining so much about his character and the readers didn't even just what was his 'character'.

He was Nathanial Kurtzberg, a shy and creative artist who loved superheroes and wanted to be one. The f***. The hell was wrong with mori? Sure, he know how to draw pretty well. He had practiced with pencils and notebooks he got from brawls even before he fully understood how to control his ability and keep Arahabaki (stupid god. He was still complementing wether or not he had an personality or was just destruction but personified) in check.

But the words 'kind' and 'shy'... they made want to puke all over dazai's clothes. The only comfort he had was reveling in the fact that dazai had a character who stuttered every 5 seconds

The worst thing though, was the fact that both the characters were FRIENDS with each other. FRIENDS. Just the thought alone haunted him. He forced dazai to never speak of that thing again after the mission. Dazai had agreed without much, or any as could be argued, struggle. He had the same haunted eyes as chuuya as they both thought of just what was to come. Chuuya was surprised to see the genuine grim, haunted expression. He had thought of dazai as no longer human (no pun intended). To see an expression like that was shocking to say in the most. Of course he still hated the idiot more than anyone, but he did care for him quite a bit.

But anyways, that was just how in the time he spent ranting about all this his head, he ended up in the front of the classroom with dazai as 'mark anciel' and was currently acting like a weak little bimbo. But, it seemed luck was on his side with dazai having to introduce himself first. "i- uh- i- h-hi! A-a I'm d-uh, mark. M-Mark anciel. Uh, and I like to write and love the rainbow"

chuuya almost scoffed. As if the bastad would like any color other than black and grey. And for the rest of what he said...let's just say it was extremely difficult for chuuya to maintain his posture after that. Look, it's not his fault, ok? Ya'll would feel like that too after watching the silver tounged-snake-like demon prodigy of the port mafia who bathes in the blood of his enemies and shoots like the port mafia depends on it (cause he can't even bother with his own life) once he got ahold of a gun (chuuya, you carry boxes of bullets with you like a savage) stutter and flush and act like a scared little rabbit being cornered by hungry wolves. Ok, that got a little dark in the end but chuuya didn't survive for years in the slums just be some soft-hearted idiot.

WHICH WAS EXACTLY THE ROLE HE WAS BEING FORCED INTO RIGHT NOW. Damn the shitty mackerel, that sadistic, manipulative bastard. He would need several sessions of therapy after this. Oh shit, it's his turn. Taking in a deep breath to both keep up character and prepare for what was coming, he walked up to class and pretended to try for a small, shy smile. "hi, I'm nathanial. I like to draw and I love superheroes. I hope we can all be friends!"

...he already wanted to bash his own head in with a brick. He was ready to murder. And throughout all that, he still managed to deal with it all with his stupid, shy smile that radiated weakness. Why the hell mori had accepted the request, no matter how much money he would receive, chuuya wouldn't ever understand. Chuuya surpressed his sigh and 'timidly' walked over to his desk at the back hugging his 'art book' to the chest all while fuming on the inside. And is that- oh, shit. Dazai's heading over to his desk. Chuuya has never tried to hard just to surpress a groan. This was going to be a nightmare, damn it. He was going to kick Mori's face in as soon as he got the chance.

Ah, well. Maybe one or both of the miraculous holders were worth recruiting. It would get something useful out of this mission. And speaking of the miraculous holders, is that-

Done! This was a little difficult for me since I'm quite bad with writing characters with a fake personality despite my love for reading about manipulative and/or characters being stuck in a fake role and hating it intensely. I'm more suited for writing about mentality and strong emotions and stuff like that and boy do I enjoy it. So, anyways, this concept does not belong to me. This was inspired by a fic on Ao3 called 'a man's got to fake just to stay alive' by moxie_girl. Anyway's I hope you enjoyed this despite hw short it is. I loved writing it's beginning but the end was just painful to write. As I mentioned before, I'm absolutely horrible at undercover. I hope you enjoyed this nevertheless! Bye!