Soft and Gay - Cadnis Oneshots

Starting Over (aka procrastination #4)

Haha If you thought that 'I was sleeping.' was depressing and heavy, have this. Before you ask, I watched 'Requiem for a Dream' the other day and was inspired... probably not the best thing to be inspired by but hey... It's something. Nothing what I'm supposed to do... but something.

To everyone who's over 16 (maybe over 18... I can't tell you what to do.) I highly recommend watching this movie. It's truly a masterpiece and kind of eye opening. At least for me. I cried a lot.

Anyway back to the story. This is not really soft. A tiny bit softness is there but with a depressing aftertaste and then it goes downhill. Just as a warning.

Now to the TRIGGER WARNINGS! This story contains:

- drug abuse

-  Needles

- panic attacks (kinda but not really)

- suicide

Please tell me if I forgot something. This is going to be the first and last story about this topic so no worries the next one's gonna be very very fluffy.

Now... enjoy reading?

Starting over isn't always easy. Infact, it could turn out to be the hardest thing you'll ever do. The biggest goal you'll ever set for yourself.

No matter from what you're recovering - school, a relationship, the death of a loved one - starting over was an art form itself. And even though Janis considered herself a decent artist she didn't quite mastered it yet. At least not alone.

She was better at running away, following old patterns, no matter how self destructive they were.

Janis was an addict.

She didn't want to accept it at first but after the death of her best friend Regina, who ironically enough died of an overdose, it eventually dawned on her.

Her only way to cope was to never come down from the sweet high that the Junk gave her.

But it wasn't until Damian and Cady found her one night, sweaty and shivering in a corner of her apartment, far away from what they called 'reality', that she tried to get better.

Against her weak protests they called an ambulance before she fully blacked out. She couldn't remember anything that happened that night, until the point when she woke up in a hospital bed. Cady was beside her, crying tears of joy, placing kisses all over her face, all while thanking gods she didn't believe in.

"I thought I lost you."

Were the words that sent her over the edge, as all of her feelings were suddenly crashing down on her.

She's sworn her friends that she'd get help. And for some time it got better. For some time Janis thought she officially started over. Started a new life without drugs, and without death waiting right around the corner.

After she came back home, Cady moved in 'to keep an eye on her' which inevitably lead to the best relationship Janis could ask for.

It was the first time she got to experience true and unconditional love. The first time someone made her feel wanted. Her new high - the endless amount of dopamine her brain released every time she had sex with Cady, heck even when she just looked at the beautiful redhead.

Sooner than she thought she was clean for a year which then turned into many more. Each and every year Cady congratulated her with the softest, calmest lingering kiss and a quiet,

"I'm so proud of you" so that only she could hear it. Because she was the only one who needed to hear it.

"Thank you" she'd always reply, going in for another kiss.