Amasa

Chapter fourteen- The loathe of a man

There seemed to be a disconnect within myself when I took upon some unnatural actions, and I had no one to tell. I did not know if I had made myself believe that I was in the advantage, using Rima at my disposal for my pleasure, or it was I who was willing to chain myself down to blackmail and emotional torture for the events that had happened.

 In that case it worried me, I was willing to sacrifice my peace for any type of disruption or excitement in my permanently set life. It could cost me everything if the truth was revealed in the daylight of the Pokoda mountains.

 Vabhebhe's chattering could not even draw me from the pools of despair I was in. It was as if something within me broke and shattered. I had the realization that I was alone even when Runesu was there, alone when I was in a tribe, in Karimba... I was alone. I was constantly drawn to Rima because I could sense his internal sadness every time he touched me, a vulnerability I never knew he had. A vulnerability we shared.

"You are not alone Amasa, allow me to be yours."

Old words resurfaced and my heart was frantic at its unrest.

"I'm telling you Amasa, I was drunk but hehe! Even then I could sense the questionable tension between those two ehhhh!"

The root to my despair was the knowledge that I had the chance to change how I was feeling but I didn't, I just sat there.

"I forgot his name but he's that quiet hard working one with a baby face ,what's his name again...?"

I didn't go and seek validation or comfort from Father or children's laughter as they played innocently in their games, I just sat there. I was surprised that my emotions had not crushed me. I hadn't internally died yet.

"His name has a rhythmic touch to it though, it should be Chimzi ChimraChizi? Ahh look at me acting like the girl Runesu herself when she was trying to guess that radish a while back."

VaBhebhe laughed to himself and sighed, not even realizing that I was not responding to his conversation at all. I did not care about that; however, I did care about the emotional walls I felt increasingly get higher with each gasp for air, walls I was not even sure could eventually be broken, enclosing me into an entrapment within myself. The only person I used to believe to have the power to break any of my walls down was dead, and she wasn't even my real mother.

"Hehe, I saw them disappearing into a bush somewhere! Trust me, even the spirits don't want to know what they were up to, Oh Karimba! Always full of drama!"

"....Chioneko and Toga arent my biological parents VaBhebhe. I was kidnapped and am of Shintu blood, Shintu blood!"

I bawled into tears. Vabhebhe stopped to look at me.

"I know my dear Amasa, I know. And for that I am truly sorry."

Pokoda became distant and blurry as I cried my eyes out. I was broken.

"You all knew, smiled in my face and kept it from me!"

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The walk to Amasa's hut felt shorter than usual to Rima. It was a walk of liberation. Going up the mountain and reaching the Pokoda palace enclosing made him realize how close he was to owning it. Amasa would be gone soon and his sanity would be restored.

He spotted Runesu hastily making her way up the mountain, and before he could shout any sort of taunt towards her, a determined looking warrior cut his path in attempt to catch up with her, with no regard of his presence, Rima was utterly dumfounded.