The Stupidity Of Love (Lev Haiba)

I Miss You

After that night, I couldn't get that dream off my mind. The dream version of Lev wasn't anything like actual Lev... and yet, that was what kept coming to mind. The kiss with Dream Lev and the kiss with the real Lev... I kept replaying both of them in my head, trying to make sense of it all.

Dream Lev had been trying to say something before I'd woken up... but what was it?

I'm him because you-

Because I what? Replaying the dream in my head, I thought about each thing that he'd said. There had to be some sort of meaning behind it all...

Slowly, pieces started to come together. The dream version of Lev had kept saying pointing out that if he were someone else that I'd have reacted differently... so did I see Lev differently? I suppose that would be true, wouldn't it?

Lev... he was so much closer to me than anyone else. I couldn't really see it before, but now that I look back at everything... he's a part of every memory that I have of this past... what's it been now? I don't even know how long...

There might have been many times when he was frustrating, but even more than that were the times when he made me smile or laugh... Like that time in the park, when I'd caught him singing and playing with the kids... Or even that time when he'd gotten stuck in the vending machine... Come to think of it, he didn't get stuck again after that.

As I was thinking back on the moments we'd shared, I found myself smiling. After all that time we spent together, how can I just go back to being alone? Back to having only SB around to talk to? How did I even do it before?

My eyes move to where the soccer ball sits on my desk. Until Lev had come around, the only friend that I had was SB... and yet, after being around Lev, I started to even forget about SB. I know that even if Lev had replaced SB, SB would never be able to take the place of Lev.

More pieces start to connect. Have I really just been stupid all this time? Is it possible to start crushing on someone and have absolutely no idea? The very idea sounds ridiculous...

My eyes widen slightly. Was that what Dream Lev had been trying to tell me? That it was because I liked Lev? That... that's crazy... right?

I looked over at the clock. Lev should be getting out of practice in about ten minutes. That was assuming that he didn't stay later, of course. By the time I walked there though, he would have already left.

Maybe I should just wait until tomorrow... I could get up early and catch him before his morning practice was over...

I stand up rather suddenly. No. If I wait until morning, then I know that I'll just find some other excuse to put it off. Maybe my own feelings aren't that clear right now, but if we keep this distance between us, then I'll never actually know.

Before I even have time to talk myself out of it, I'm heading out the door.

A turn here. A straight there. Another turn. I don't pay too much attention to what's going on around me; my mind is focused simply on a single goal... and that is to settle things with Lev.

My focus returns to my surroundings just in time to stop myself from colliding with someone as I turned a corner.

When I see that the person is tall and dressed in red, I have to look upward to see their face. My face brightens with a smile as I see Lev looking down at me.

He opened his mouth as if to say something, only to interrupt it as he laughs instead. "Are those your pajamas?"

I have to glance downward to check. As I confirm that I did indeed come out here in my pajamas, I can't help but laugh with him. And just my luck... it's the Hello Kitty t-shirt that I'm wearing too. Another gift from Kanna.

As we calm back down, the smile doesn't leave my face. This is what I'd been dreading? This wasn't awkward at all... not like I'd thought it would be.

"Hey, Lev?" I had to say it now before I found an excuse not to. "About before... I'm sorry that I freaked out... I... I think you just really surprised me is all..."

And there's the awkward.

Lev looked away, a tiny blush on his face at the mention of when he'd kissed me. "Kuroo said that I probably wasn't clear enough about what I meant... and I probably shouldn't have tried to kiss you that soon..."

I shook my head. "You didn't do anything wrong... I... I'm really bad at these kinds of things..." I admitted, my smile fading. "I've never really thought of anyone like that before... I'm still not really sure what these feelings are that I have for you... but... I do know that I don't like when we're not talking... When you're not there, I miss you."

It's kind of embarrassing to say it all out loud... but if I don't say it, he probably won't understand. I barely understand it myself...

As I look back up at him, there's a smile on his face and it makes me unable to stop myself from smiling.

"Reisa... what if..." Lev paused a minute, thinking about it. "What if we dated? Even if you're not sure if you like me like that... maybe if we acted like a couple, then it would help you figure it out..."

It's a crazy idea, but honestly, it sounds a lot like something he'd do. "And if it turns out that I don't feel like that about you?"

"Then we just go back to normal. We'll stay as friends."

The logical part of my brain is telling me that it's a bad idea... and yet, I don't want to listen to it. For Lev, I'm willing to give it a try. I don't hesitate to say yes.

Wizzy: Here we are at the end. Been a long journey. Not a whole lot of romance here, but that's how this had always been meant to be. From here, it's all in your hands. Will you fall in love with Lev?
If you'd like to read something with a bit more romance, take a moment to check out my other stories. You might just find one for your favorite fellow... even if you think that he's someone unnoticed. Or if you want more of an adventure with a little bit of a love triangle, give my story No Life a go.
Anyways, as always, thank you so much for reading.