For Better Or For Worse | Rihanna

VII; September 17th, 2017

Eden Scott

It had been 3 days since the Diamond Ball, and incidentally the last time we've talked. I can still see the look in her eyes as if it was breaking her heart to have that conversation. It was hurting me too, as I didn't know how to process it either.

We had opened a can of worms that seemed to have exploded in our face. I don't think Robyn knew how to fix this mess either, as she'd been purposely running away from me. I left her with the master bedroom and had been sleeping in the guest suite, which had its own bathroom and balcony.

Truth be told, it wasn't even necessary, as Robyn had barely even been inside the house. Each morning, she'd get up at the crack of dawn and leave promptly, no doubt heading down to her office to work on the latest Fenty happenings. She'd be home in the little hours of the night, and I wondered if she was even getting enough sleep.

It came across to me as the coward's way out, but every time I wanted to do something about it, my pride would get in the way. I couldn't help but hear her words replay in my mind. How she didn't know me. Up until now, it felt premature to confront her with anything, because I was just a big ball of feelings right now, all mostly just anger. Blinding rage actually, and the need to punch holes in the wall.

As much as I pushed myself to see where my girlfriend was coming from, I was so angry at her. I was still angry over how she had initiated the situation. I was angry at how easily she found faults in my character. I was angry that she could say that to me. And I was still angry that she walked away from me.

After spending 3 days doing nothing else but ordering in for practically every meal, watching day-time television and working out in the apartment complex's gym, I was really growing tired of the inactivity. My presence in the penthouse began to feel superficial, trivial even, and I was slowly reminded of who's name was on the lease.

I got out of bed, determined to do something about it. I crept down the hall and towards the kitchen where I knew Robyn was. She heard me coming, but I spoke up before she could get too far.

"Stop avoiding me," I pleaded.

I saw her face for the first time in a few days and she looked... tired. There were bags under her eyes and her face looked puffy. There was no doubt in my mind that she was suffering as much as I, and I started feeling bad about my intentions. I was coming into our shared space not to resolve conflict, but to let her have a piece of mind. But seeing her wrapped up in one of my oversized sweaters and looking like a sad puppy was beginning to pull at my heartstrings.

"What the fuck is going on anyway?" I started.

"It's too early for this," she mumbled, shaking her head.

"I'm not trying to start anything, Rob. I just don't like this divide between us, right now," I softened my tone.

Robyn sighed, shoving her hands into her pockets. "I don't either,"

I took the initiative of breaching the gap between us and wrapping my arms around her.

"I missed you," I admitted, putting my pride to the side with much trouble. My admission was met with absolute silence, however.

"Robyn," I fought my own anger, "I don't know how you feel right now, and I would really like it if you could just communicate that too."

She turned around in my arms, bringing her hands up to the back of my neck.

"But you look so angry," Robyn pouted.

"I am angry," I breathed out. "I'm so angry with you right now. I think if it was anyone else I'd be screaming and breaking shit right now. Hell, I do wanna break shit. I just... don't know what to do about that irritation anymore but I know sitting in that corner ain't gon help."