For Better Or For Worse | Rihanna

XXX; August, 2016

Robyn Rihanna Fenty

Silence. The deafening silence that I couldn't help but wish would end. The drive to the Royal Monceau Hotel had been too quiet but I let it be. It felt weird enough that I had asked her to come back here with me, I didn't need to burden her with uncomfortable and forced conversation.

I stole a peek in her direction from the corner of my eyes. Eden stared ahead at the elevator's golden doors, her jaw tightly wounded as she rocked back and forth on her heels. She didn't seem preoccupied by our awkward silence, but as if something else weighed on her.

"If you want, we could try the spa tomorrow. Or we could have the masseuses come up to our– to the room," I pushed out as soon as the elevator opened up to penthouse level 5.

I turned to her again, this time with a hopeful smile. I'm not sure why I was trying to sell this so hard. I was doing way too much, I could feel it so now I had embarrassment rivalling my guilt. But every time my eyes landed on Eden today, I found myself in disbelief. It was insane that I had found Eden again, my Eden. I knew she wasn't mine anymore, I knew it was my fault and I knew she wasn't even the Eden I remembered her to be.

"Tomorrow? Shit, I hadn't really thought that far ahead," she shrugged.

Perhaps she wasn't all that different. Eden was still her usual nonchalant self, even to my detriment. "All good, then," I mumbled, reaching into my bag for the room key.

I hoped to find some kind of regret in her face over how her words came out, but instead, she walked into the suite with her eyes glued to her phone, typing hurriedly to someone.

"Anyone important?" Although it was going to come across as nosy, I just wanted to know what her life was like now.

"Nope," Eden quickly pocketed her phone and looked up with her smile.

Right. Why do I care? This fake cordial, placid shit that we were doing right now was going to make me throw up. This was a mistake, but I refrained from voicing my concern. I wanted to give this a chance. I don't know what 'this' was, but I knew the alternate would eat me alive. The second I saw Eden stomping past me on the runway, I knew if I didn't find a way to get in contact with her I'd regret it forever. So I tried to make an effort for the sake of my keeping the peace.

"What's wrong?" Eden asked me, taking her shoes off to put on a nearby pair of slippers.

"Nothing. I didn't mean to overstep." I walked past her to put my things down.

"Meh, no such thing. Hey, this place is nice as hell!" I turned around to see Eden admiring the living room.

She looked up and down, getting closer to the bookcase and admiring the art. Her attitude seemed to have changed quickly, but maybe I had simply judged her too quickly. No such thing as overstepping, huh? I could see myself being comfortable with her quite fast, but it was unfair to expect the same in return. And of course, I knew I'd have to work my way back to that place in her mind but I wish I could skip forward to the good part. I could imagine calling her in the evenings to ask about her days, meeting for brunch or planning getaway trips.

"Yo!" I heard her shout from further in. "This place got a movie room? And a gym? So this must be how the posh live." I hadn't even noticed she'd gone on her own tour of the apartment until she excitedly ran back into the salon.

"Sure is. Enjoy it," I perked up and headed for the master bedroom.

This was going to be just fine. I was going to let go and accept whatever comes my way. As I fished inside my suitcase for extra pyjamas, I could see Eden awkwardly sitting on the edge of my bed. It actually humoured me a little – perhaps we were both as nervous as the other?