Where Your Loyalties Lie: Book One

Out of Order

Overview: After what nearly happened to you with David, Negan gives you some appraisal...

You stirred in your sleep as your dream became a nightmare; you could see the faces of all the people you cared about...they were being killed. Eaten, ripped apart. The more images that flashed in your mind the more restless you became.

The sound of knocking woke you up and you breathed a gasp as you came back to reality. Sitting up in the bed, you could feel your heart racing and the blood pumping through every vein as you tried to steady yourself.

"Come in," you beckoned, trying to calm your breathing.

The door unlocked and Simon's moustached face appeared behind it. "Good morning," he said, uneasily. With everything that had happened the previous night, you weren't exactly feeling in the mood to talk to him.

Averting your gaze, you began to untangle your body from the bed sheets. "Simon," you acknowledged. Bringing your feet over the edge of the bed, they made contact with the floor and you could see Simon walking over towards the small table in the center of the room. He set a tray down and when he stood up to look back at you, you gave him a confused look.

"I thought you might have wanted some breakfast after..." Simon shifted uneasily and folded his hands out in front as he cleared his throat. "...After last night," he managed to say.

You eyed the tray he had brought in; a plate of pancakes and fruit. Like that was going to fix what had happened. You arched an annoyed eyebrow at him.

"Just because you brought me pancakes doesn't change what almost happened to me," you addressed him sternly.

Simon nodded politely. "I understand that." You noticed him shifting again. "I wanted to apologize." As you looked at him, you could see what could only be described as a mix of guilt and sympathy in his eyes. "I should have accepted your request and I didn't. I let my pride cloud my judgement of this place and I deeply regret not having done as you asked."

His words sounded truthful and it was clear that he meant it. You had never seen Simon so...not himself. Normally, we could be just as cocky and sarcastic as Negan but not this time. This time, he was being sincere and serious.

You considered his words carefully and when you did, you remembered how Negan reacted towards Simon's incompetence; never had he been so angry. You sighed as you came to a decision. "I was almost raped last night, Simon," you said softly, matching his gaze. "I trusted you to keep me safe, just as Negan had ordered you to. Last night, I lost some of that trust."

Simon hung his head as he nodded again, clearly feeling awful about the whole situation.

You paused for a moment and thought. The more you realised it, despite what had happened between the two of you, you didn't want to hate Simon. There was something about him that you admired; his oddly charming personality, his marvellous diction. He definitely didn't intimidate you as much as Negan, that's for sure.

"Pancakes aren't going to earn back my trust so easily," you continued. "But it's a start." You lightly smiled at Simon as he brought his head back in surprise.

He sighed in relief and it was clear that your decision made him feel more at ease. "That's good," he said, seemingly happier than before. "Yeah, I just feel shitty about the whole thing, so that's really good."

You nodded at him as you stood up from the bed to walk towards the tray on the table. Simon began to walk towards the door, leaving you to eat your breakfast but he suddenly stopped and turned on his heel. "Oh, I almost forgot."

A strawberry nestled into your cheek as you turned back to him and you saw his hand reaching into one of his jacket pockets to reveal a book.

"Shortly before we left Alexandria, Negan wanted me to get you some things for your stay here," he began. He looked down at the book and gently caressed it. "So, I was looking in your house and I found this. I wasn't certain you would want it, but here."