Where Your Loyalties Lie: Book One

The War Rages on

Author's Note: Negan's a bit of an asshole in this chapter. Oh, who am I kidding? He's always an asshole XD

Overview: After confessing your feelings for Negan, the war against the Saviours stumbles its way back into your lives, making your relationship more difficult.

When you opened your eyes the next morning, you felt like a completely different person; Negan had taken you places you never thought you would go and it made you feel free. The amount of emotions and physical feelings you experienced had emptied your mind of all thoughts of walkers and death. It was as if a new age of being had awakened inside of you.

Your eyes looked up at the ceiling of your bedroom and sighed, knowing that what you and Negan felt for each other was... different. It made you wonder if he had even had feelings for anyone during this whole new way of life.

Rolling onto your side with the bed sheets clutched against your body, you noticed that the other half of your bed was empty and you let out of small sigh of disappointment. You had hoped to see Negan's salt and peppered hair on the pillow but alas, he wasn't there.

In fact, he wasn't even in your room. You looked around the place and noticed that his clothes were gone but he had left Lucille propped up against the small couch.

Confused, you got off the bed and got dressed. While you were walking over to the window, buttoning up your shirt, you saw the sun had only just come out from its hiding place, indicating that it was still early in the morning. Doing the last button, your eyes drifted over to the main entrance balcony and you could see Negan resting against the railing. It looked as if he was talking to someone of his walkie-talkie.

You couldn't see his face since his back was towards you but by the way his body language changed, you reckoned what he was being hit hard with what was being said to him. Placing your hands on the window sill, Negan hung his head and you knew that he was definitely being affected in some way. However, when he brought his head back up, you noticed that he was looking at one of the walkers tied to the fence.

Following his gaze, your eyes widened when you saw what certainly looked like Simon. Negan must have strangled him so he could turn. You looked in horror and pity as he was biting the air, restlessly, like a wild animal snapping at its prey.

You felt your eyes divert back to Negan when he began to ease off the railing while talking to whoever was on the other end of the walkie-talkie. It was then that he dropped it onto the concrete platform and smashed it several times under his foot. This shocked you, because it was clear that whatever he had heard and whoever he was talking to rattled him up. You knew that his actions meant that he was still going to go up against Rick.

As he made his way back into the Sanctuary, you had a gut feeling that he was coming to find you, so you composed yourself. Oddly enough, you felt drawn to Lucille, as the bat was still propped up against the couch. Then it clicked that Negan probably wasn't coming for you but for the bat. Flustered, you picked up Lucille and studied it, taking in the nailed down barbed wire and the polished wood.

It was then that you heard the sound of your room door opening and you almost jumped when you saw Negan emerge from behind it. He caught sight of you holding Lucille and when he closed the door behind him to walk over to you, you felt like your heart stopped. The previous feelings you had felt seemed to leave your body when you saw how stern he looked.

He held out his hand and you gingerly gave him Lucille. The way he was looking at you without saying anything made you feel on edge. It almost looked like he was going to kill someone, since his face was both pained and pissed off. You swallowed hard when he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear gently. It was unnerving to see him like that, due to him being so delicate and affectionate the night before.