A Simple Coincidence // Daryl Dixon

8 | Sunshine

Was there hope of me finding my family? Probably not.

I was so lost, I didn't know what to do, what my purpose was. Was I meant to leave these people and look for my family who I'm most likely not going to find? Was I supposed to stay with them? Or was I supposed to leave them and be on my own until my death? Was I destined to be alone? Or did I want to believe that because I was too afraid of caring for these people? Too afraid that I will grow attached to them and then lose them; as I've always lost.

What if I'm not good for these people? What if me staying with them harms them? Nothing good ever happens to me, so am I risking their lives by staying with them?

Will I be the death of them?

And at that moment my decision was made. I was leaving.

I got up from my seat looking at Rick, "uh Rick, can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked fiddling with my necklace.

He got up from his crouching position and signalled for me to follow him. We went over to the side away from the crowd. Not too far, but far enough for a private conversation. I had my back facing the people as I prepared my speech internally.

"You all seem like a great bunch" I spoke looking down, "but uh, I should get going. I still have family out there. Hopefully," I said with a sigh before looking up at him "I'm gonna try and find them. I'm not good for you people anyway. So I guess this is me telling you that I won't be coming with you. I'll be gone before sundown" I said hoping he would understand.

"Look Eleanore, I'm not gonna stop you from looking for your family. But I can't say I'm okay with you leavin—" Rick was cut off by a voice from behind me.

"You're leaving!?" Glenn yelled, sterling me. I turned around to see a very disappointed Glenn.

This is not how I wanted this to go.

"Glenn I—" I didn't even get to finish my sentence.

"No!" he said louder than necessary and gaining the attention of the rest of the campers "No, we've lost enough. And if you leave now we'll never see you again. Stay with us, please. Look we need you and you know it" he was now speaking in a much lower and calmer tone. He was almost begging. When he saw that I wasn't convinced he attacked me with his puppy eyes, "Ella please, at least come to the CDC with us." I froze, my body tensed, not because I was thinking, but because of the nickname. My whole body shivered.

My mother used to call me that.

I hated it as a child, but I grew up to love it. It sounded so beautiful coming from her mouth. Nothing can compare to my mom calling me 'Ella'. It brought me a sense of comfort. A sense of home.

With teary eyes I looked at Glenn and nodded not trusting my voice and quickly looking away as emotions started to get the best of me. He pulled me into another hug.

Dude I'm really trying not to cry, and this is not helping.

While still in Glenn's grasp, I looked up to meet Daryl's eyes. He looked puzzled as if trying to figure something out. Trying to figure me out.

I quickly pulled away from Glenn, feeling very overwhelmed and vulnerable.

"I- Uh- I gotta go—" I said before running off into the woods.

***

I found a clearing and sat down on the grass while watching the beautiful colours of the sunset. The sun was calming; it almost made it seem like there was nothing wrong in the world. Like it was any other day in our past normal lives.