Never Love Again

12. Pushing My Luck

Since that day I saw Stan at the auditorium, I couldn't get him out of my head and he always stared at me the same way, a blank face, no expression without batting an eye. It didn't bother me but it now became a big concern when he appeared in my dreams. 

Stan was living rent free in my head.

"What are you thinking about? You're going to be late for your classes." Mijin appeared from their room with Niel.

"Ugh! Will you two get your own place?" Their presence had already pissed me off a couple of times but now that I'm looking for a pair, I can't help feeling jealous every time I saw a couple and even though it was momentary, I felt very much ashamed of myself for being jealous of my own sister when I'm the one who'd introduced Niel to her.

"We thought about it, then we thought ourselves out of it." Mijin as usual never took me seriously and as Niel and her laughed, I felt a stab on my chest seeing them happy, despite being in an open relationship. I would never survive a relationship like that, I'd be way too jealous.

"How do you two manage an open relationship and still sleep with each other every night?"

I could see the shock on their faces as they looked at me surprised at my question. I couldn't tell whether they felt offended or shy to answer my question either. Even so, I was running out of time finding a pair so I needed to find out if I'd have a chance with Niel. 

Niel had been the first to speak up. "Well...we agreed to try other people just so we are sure we want to be with each other forever since clearly, we aren't fated mates. Mijin sometimes gets repulsed when I release my scent."

"That's why despite our open relationship, we agreed on becoming a pair if I continue to reject his scent."

"Doesn't that just mean your spiritual essence doesn't match?" I had to try my chance no matter what. I'd been wearing Niel's clothes that could fit me to hide my scent and not once did I feel repulsed. This thought made my heart leap with excitement as a ray of hope presented itself.

"It's possible, and I admit it hurts you're unaffected by my scent but not your sister, however, I really like Mijin and I've agreed to let her go if she finds someone she's in synch with."

"That's true little brother. I know it's hard to wrap your head around it. Additionally, it's hard on both of us as well. I love Niel so much that I'm willing to let him go once he meets his fated mate. Our agreement to stay open was for a year and even though I've been more active as opposed to Niel, I can promise you in eight months of staying open, I haven't yet met anyone that excites me as much as my Niel."

It hurts so much... It felt like my heart was being put through a grinder and I had to keep my eyes open as I watched it turn into pulp when they kissed, forgetting I was sitting right in front of them.

"Try me out then Niel. I could be your fated mate, you never know." I didn't care anymore. I was going to push it till the end.

My statement brought them to a halt but their lips didn't part. I was sure my sister will hate me and Niel probably felt disgusted by my sudden obnoxious request. I should have instead asked if he was open to trying guys out too.

"We...thought about that but you like girls. That's why I was hooking you up on a blind date with Mora, but now, things are different. You've been marked."

"Yes Yeon. I dissuaded Mijin from it since previously, you seemed to be looking for something longterm and after your multiple failed relationships, you declared not wanting to do anything with other people so you were out of the question."

What? This perverts were okay with me butting in their relationship and they had actually thought about it...and discussed for days while we lived, ate and slept under the same roof? The sudden realization made me nauseous. It's true after all, I couldn't share Niel with anyone if we became intimate with each other. Besides, I had fantasied about marking him and the thought that he'd pair out of pity with me just because I was unbothered by his scent suddenly made me feel pathetic.

I covered my face with both my hands, fighting back tears of shame that blurred my vision. "I'm sorry I even thought of coming between you two...I hate myself so much..." Whatever gave me the courage to even ask them that?

I could hear them come around to comfort me as they hugged me. Their innocent affections just made me feel even worse.

"You're worries are valid Yeon. We really want to help you but our hands are tied. Mom and Dad asked me to suggest a few people for pairing up and they are willing to pay them as long as they agreed to complete your marking, which may still be a challenge if you're not attracted to that person."

"Yea. I have a couple of friends in my major but they are all assholes I wouldn't want them to even set foot at my place. Mijin and I have one person in mind though. You may not like him because he is a playboy but seeing that he already told Mijin he has the hots for you, he may be willing to pair with you without any pay which is the best part. Besides, he almost took Mijin from me so I guess his game must be really good to even win your hardened heart."

"Who is it?" At this point I'd accept just about anyone who would accept me without pay.

"You've already met him a couple of times." Mijin said as she pulled my hands away from my  face, wiping the remaining tears with the back of her hand. It had been a while since I felt so vulnerable and it was embarrassing Niel was here to see it all.

"Stan?" I asked, pushing Mijin's hands away.

"What? No! That arrogant bastard!" Mijin exclaimed and Niel laughed at her twisted face.

"You're only upset with him since he rejected you."

"Shut it sweetheart! There are a lot of people who feel the same way about him.." Turning towards me, she scolded, "...and what's with all the rumors Mora told me of you dating that obnoxious bafoon Yeon?"

"I'm not dating him, I hate him probably more than even you but the thought of him rejecting you is certainly humorous." Niel and I both laughed at Mijin, who only attacked his boyfriend with her fists. Suddenly I remembered why I had been putting up with their company. They often made me feel like I was back at home and for once, someone else was taking Mijin's bony but painful fists.

"Take that back Niel or no sex for the next ten thousand years!"

"Okay! I take it back!" Niel pleaded as he shielded himself with me and after they both calmed down, Mijin asked, "Where were we again?"

"You were going to tell Yeon about Elric." Niel responded.

Elric? Why did that name sound so familiar to me?