Never Love Again

51. Anger Management

"Look Mijin, I came here because your dad invited me. I never came just so we could reconcile..."

"Liar! You could have turned the offer down as you did before! Haven't you become good at avoiding me? You should have stayed away from my entire family alltogether! You left me, so why still linger in family affairs?"

Niel smacked his forehead in frustration and regret. Perhaps Mijin was right. Her father never forced him to come, he just guilt tripped him but he could have turned down the invitation...or maybe it was the frustration of having to keep running away from this ex girlfriend that lured him into thinking it would be a good idea to finally face her to get closure and move on with his life. Yet, despite weeks of not seeing her, he couldn't deny the temptation of wanting to forgive her and take her back.

"I looked everywhere for you Niel. I called you for days on end but you had blocked me! Couldn't you have at least allowed me time to think over your ultimatum than shutting me out completely before listening to my reply?" Mijin was in tears as he spoke and Niel fought hard to control the temptation to reach out and pacify her.

It was after her dad had just cut the cake as everyone sang happily and wishing him a happy birthday than Mijin lost her temper and lashed out at him, calling him a pretender and traitor. The two were later kicked out by Mijin's parents, leaving them alone with Elric and Stan's parents.

Come to think of it, why had Stan and Yeon not returned yet? They'd confirmed making it in time for dinner.

"Look, today is your dad's birthday so let's go back and apologize. I'll leave tomorrow after we talk."

Reaching towards Niel, Mijin grabbed both his hands and looked at him, her eyes begging for an explanation. "You'll run away at first light Niel. I know far too well how you act when you want to avoid confrontations. That's why you ran and shut me out..."

Pulling his hands away from Mijin's grip, Niel spoke. "The reason we broke up may appear simple to you but it's bigger than both of us. Mijin, you messed up big time and I'm not only talking about your entanglements...it's just you! You're your own poison and your dad had been right about me fueling your fire. The two of us only ate into each other's bad habits and I regret not calling you out in time..."

"Stop acting like you didn't fondle other people's private parts too! We both agreed to it so why I'm I the bad person here? Besides, I haven't been with anyone since you shut me out..."

"Regardless, you have made no effort to come clean with Yeon. Your own brother was almost raped by more than one person and you were responsible for making him that helpless. Yeon could have fought back! He is no weakling and we both know that! Instead, you watched him become more and more depressed...fuck! He was already grumpy as it is..."

"Yeon has always been like that!" Mijin shouted back as she reached forward to grab Niel's hands again in affirmation. "He's always been nonchalant about things but that doesn't make him depressed! It's his personality!"

"He shut everyone out Mijin, how can you be so fucking blind to your own flesh and blood!"

"Everyone occasionally feels negative thoughts so that's normal. Stop making him a charity case!"

"Even so, these feelings are usually fleeting and pass within a couple of days but when a person has depression, it interferes with their daily life and normal functioning...it causes them pain for both the person depressed and those who care about him. Besides, a lot of people with depression never seek help or treatment like Yeon who prefers to handle things by himself."

"What are you a psychiatrist now?"

"Stop being so selfish Mijin. Neither should you lie that you never noticed any red flags from your brother either. Yeon is always in deep thought...I wouldn't be surprised if he's thought of ending his life after what happened to him. He is constantly moody and looks angry all the time not to mention his loss of interest in any activities we invited him to that he used to like. He had had nightmares constantly after that incident too. Besides, Yeon may have been grumpy before but the extreme sadness in his eyes was the first thing I noticed, not to mention his poor eating habit, always binging on ice cream from morning to evening." Pulling his hands free from Mijin then placing them on her shoulders gently, he squeezed and added. "He withdrew from everyone unlike before...his friends and family too...he shut down completely and refused to take inhibitors to hide his strong scent. He felt worthless and wanted to expose what happened to him to everyone so they could ridicule him openly.