149. The Past, The Present, The Future

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Staying in the dark offered Niel temporary comfort, the kind that came with an emotional numbness. Perhaps it was a fleeting feeling that was to last a few days and soon enough he might begin to feel as good as new.

He'd already caught himself spacing out a couple of times that being alone in a strange place having everything silent gave him peace of mind away from the constant screaming inside his head, the familiar cry of agony, shifting and turning from pain.

He flinched at the memory of the light crack of a sound he'd heard earlier, then looked at his hands and saw what was no longer there.

'Fuck! I was so frightened...'

Covering his eyes briefly, he made a silent prayer, hoping that somehow, someway, all would turn out well. He badly wanted to be at his fated's side.

"I'm a dad aren't I?" He spoke to himself, opening his eyes and in that silence, he could almost listen to how loudly his heart was thudding. His hands trembled, his body shaking to how overwhelming that memory felt like. The realization that he'd no longer be only responsible to his fated but being a father too felt daunting yet warmed his heart somehow.

Looking at his palms once more, he could no longer see how bloody they had been but two lives, two tiny lives resting at his palms and a sense of responsible joy washing all over him. He felt love, affection wonder... A very strong desire to want to be protective and fulfill whatever needed to be done to care and nature his own flesh and blood. That unforgettable smell, the tingling sensation at the touch of moving bloody fragile and toothless creatures, squeaking sounds... Or was it whistling? Niel couldn't remember.

He hadn't realized he'd been in that position for a while until he heard a light sound coming from the stairs and upon looking up, he saw Stan creeping slowly as if cautious not to wake up anyone up.

"Hey." Stan greeted. "What are you doing up?"

"Can't sleep. What about you?"

"I normally go for a run sometimes in the night."

Seeming uninterested, Niel looked back at his palms spread in front of him then placed then on the kitchen counter, moving carefully as if he still were holding both Luca and Lusha.

"What about Elric's mom's warnings? Aren't we supposed to avoid making ourselves vulnerable?"

"Knowing her, she probably still has someone watching out for each of us. She hates surprises so I wouldn't be shocked if she had someone following me. Additionally, she hasn't questioned me about my night exercises." Scanning Niel from head to toe, Stan asked. "You look fit yourself. How do you maintain your physic?"

"I go to the gym after work sometimes, though lately, I've been lagging behind because of Elric's sensitive pregnancy."

"Makes sense. I need to make time and pay a visit to Yeon's parents for a proper workout session once all this tension dies down."

With nothing to say, Niel drifted back to his thoughts and Stan noticed how absentminded he'd been. They hadn't much to say to each other however, after finding out what Niel had gone through, Stan concluded it would be wiser to get along somehow. 'I wouldn't want to imagine what is going on in that mind of his.'

"Congratulations on becoming a dad."

Niel felt an insanely strong urge to burst out laughing but controlled himself. "I'm not yet sure if I should celebrate when Elric is lying unconscious."
Stan noticed Niel's expression of anxiety and tension that even as he controlled his nervous laughter, it was clear he was extremely perturbed. "He'll be alright. He's one of the luckiest dudes I've ever met and if anything, I'm sure both Lusha and Luca will be fine at the hands of my uncle's care."

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