Different | Kai Parker

13: Feelings

Kai POV:

After I finish talking to Andra I change, wash up and go to bed

I try to fall asleep but I can't

I keep thinking about how Luke died and how I killed all my siblings and I start to feel guilty

'What the hell' I think to myself, why the hell do I feel guilty

I get up and start to write a letter for Jo explaining how sorry I am for everything

I didn't want to, but I left like I had to 

As I was writing the letter I feel water welling up in my eyes and see tears fall on the paper 

After some time I finish writing the letter to Jo and try to go to sleep

It was still kind of hard to fall asleep but eventually I did

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning I woke up feeling worst I was filled with emotions but mostly guilt

I felt guilty for killing so many innocent people innocent children

And every time I thought about it there was pain in my chest and I felt like crying god I needed help so I went to the only person who doesn't hate me, Andra

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Andra POV:

The next morning me and Caroline were sitting in my room talking when suddenly I hear a knock on the door

We make our way downstairs and I open the door to see Kai he looked like a mess

His eyes were red and puffy and he looked tired

"Kai, come in are you okay?" I ask

"Yeah I just needed to talk to you about some stuff" he says and then looks at Caroline

"Uh, I think I'll go see you later Andra you too Kai"

"Okay bye Care!" I say and Kai just waves at her

After I close the door I gesture at Kai to go sit on the couch and I go sit next to him

"Kai are you okay?"

He looks at me "yeah why wouldn't I be"

"No offence but you look terrible, did you get any sleep?"

Kai just looks at me tears welling up in his eyes "Kai what's wrong" I ask now really concerned 

He sighs trying his best to not let his tears fall "ok so yesterday Luke came and forced me to merge with him because he would do anything to save Jo's life and the merge worked which is great I'm coven leader now" he starts and I nod

"But since I merged with Luke I must have gotten some of his characteristics like feeling guilt and stuff I don't know" 

I look at him with a raised eyebrow "so you can like feel now?"

He nods "yeah yesterday I couldn't sleep because I felt guilty about how Luke died and how I murdered all my siblings and how I snapped your neck and tied you up"

"Kai you know I forgave you for that a long time ago"

He looks at me and nods "thank you but my siblings didn't anyways I started writing a letter to Jo saying how sorry I am and in the middle of it I literally started crying"

I look at him sadly and he continues 

"And other than that every time I think about every bad thing I did I feel this pain in my chest I think I'm dying"