(Mostly) Angsty Dsmp Oneshots

A New Sense of Longing

Sapnap stares at the wall. He can't make himself move. He doesn't want to. His only thoughts are directed at his lover who has forgotten himself. Sapnap can't bear to move because every single spot in this goddamn house contains a memory of Karl. They basically painted the walls with stolen kisses and forbidden confessions. Everywhere Sapnap turned the memories would play. Like late at night when a branch on a tree would rattle against the windows and lightning would strike, causing Sapnap to have vivid flashbacks of the wars he's fought. He would scare himself so much that the only way to sleep that night would be for Karl to wrap his arms around the shorter man. Another example is when they danced in the living room after they got engaged. Their hands clasped together and laughter lighting up the room.

Soon, night falls and the room Sapnap holds himself in is void of light. Light suddenly fills the room, and automatically Sapnap knows he is in for a long and rough night. The clouds are heavy with flashes of light, and the tree branch is scratching at the window. Sapnap starts trembling. Partly because of the wars, and partly because there isn't a tall, curly-headed boy to whisper sweet nothings in his ear and hold him close. He cries and he cries and he cries for the boy who has forgotten him. Suddenly, Sapnap hears footsteps coming from the kitchen and he knows he isn't alone.

He slowly and quietly gets up trying not to make a noise, but he's scared. He grabs his weapon, which was propped on the couch, and quietly unsheathes it. He slowly turns the corner towards the kitchen and sees a curly headed boy making tea and reading a book by candlelight as if two days ago he couldn't even remember how to walk properly.

Sapnap drops his weapon, "Karl?" he inquires. He hadn't seen the boy in days.

"Hi Sapnap!" Karl smiles like it's any other normal day.

"How are you," the raven headed boy trails off, "why are you here? How did you get in here? How do you know my name?" Sapnap's brain is flooded with confusion and spinning with relief of the boy being here during the storm.

"I kept books, Sapnap, before I lost my memory. I could tell I was losing it, so I started to write things down." Karl taps the seat next to him, signalling for Sapnap to take a seat. "I know you don't like storms, so I came over. If you want me to leave, I will."

Sapnap cautiously moves towards the chair next to Karl and sits. "Can I hug you?" Usually Sapnap wouldn't be this emotional, but it was his ex-fiance, and Sapnap was currently scared shitless.

Without a response, Karl wrapped his arms around the younger man and pulled the Sapnap to his chest. They stayed there for a long time-- long enough for the younger man to fall asleep. Karl didn't dare move. He stared down at the man in front of him and felt a sense of longing he hadn't felt for Sapnap since he lost his memory.