Dirty | ✅

SHIZUNLOVEME, "Dirty" [In progress]

(2-minute read)

*proceed with caution*

Warning: Mention of accidental pregnancy, suicide, planning of death for others, hatred of parents, etc

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As the cool breeze brushes past my shoulder -  the blissful shade of orange that covers the withering maple leaves fumes in anger at the loss of youthfulness as time moves forward.

The ink splotched sheet of parchment that contains these pitiful words means no more than a single leaf in a grand willow. If the leaf falls to the ground the willow's appearance will still be the same.

My tainted tongue that speaks these trivial words as they are carefully written is merely a mistake made by a woman and a man's meaningless reunion after breaking up for the last of countless times before. 

This life I call my own is nothing more than a vow to never see each other again after one final night tangled in sheets.

These empty words fertilized a seed and provided a marriage that wouldn't even last a couple of months.

The dirty blood that runs in my veins is nothing more than a promise to carry on their mistakes and pass them onto future generations.

My heart tells me to run far away and defy the laws of this destined fate but my body is solely meant for one purpose. A purpose that I can never run away from no matter how much I struggle.

I simply cannot change the laws of nature. 

If I could change my fate, and if my head ceased to have a tiny voice of pleading, my small hands would already be soaked with blood.

My sleeves would be drenched in my blood.

But I was made to break the cycle. 

I have a power that my parents don't have.

The power to change- to change my fate.

Of course, nothing in life is ever a walk in the park so the price I'll have to pay will be costly.

It'll cost my life - expensive isn't it?

When I die I will break the curse that has lasted generations before me.

The dirty blood that runs in my veins will be terminated and won't be passed on! Perfect plan, right?

I won't make their mistakes and be cowardly.

I can't wait till the day the sun doesn't rise, for that means I have succeeded.

--end