waste it on me | shin soukoku

eight

The freaking tears just wouldn't stop

Akutagawa couldn't remember the last time he cried like this

He was frustrated

and disappointed

and mad at Atsushi

maybe he was also mad at himself

he also was running

somewhere

no actually he had no idea where to go he was just trying to run away from everything

pathetic

he felt so pathetic

this actually just proves his point love is good for nothing

he is in love with Atsushi or whatever but it has brought him nothing but pain

all of this was a fucking waste of time

and because he has just no luck in his pathetic life he tripped or some rock while running and fell

and that just made everything even more pathetic

His knees were both bleeding a bit and if someone saw him right now without knowing what's going on they would've thought he was a fucking child crying because it fell

He looked up at the stupid sky and then around him just to realize he landed in front of the coffee shop that he's been working at and even though it was about one in the morning there was a little light burning in there.

At this point everything in his life went wrong so he thought that he might as well just knock and beg the nice lady who owns the coffee shop for emotinal support and that's exactly what he did.

The woman was shocked when she saw all the bruises and his teary eyes and, to his luck, immediately invited him in.

The design of her living room made Akutagawa feel very safe, she even made him tea.

They sat down on her couch and after a few minutes of silence the lady turned to him

"Speaking from experience, if someone comes crying on my doorstep at one in the morning they are either going trough an existential crisis or just got their heart broken"

"It's uh kinda both"

"Well then you can either talk to me about it or we just sit here and drink tea. You decide"

Akutagawa stared at the cup of tea in his hand

"What is love?"

"What do you think it is?"

"A waste of time"

The woman sighed

"Hmm let me tell you about my very first love dear, I was your age when I met this woman, she was confident and beautiful. It was love at first sight. We'd meet secretly almost every day. But someone eventually found out about us and that ruined evrything. She had to move and we never saw each other again."

"... I'm sorry"

"Don't be, I just wanted you to know that all my life I wished that we had more time, there is so much left to say and do and I just hope that she knows that"

Akutagawa wasn't sure how to react

"Even if fate doesn't give you the future you deserve, make the best out of the present, don't waste it"

And there he was, running again

it was stupid of him to think that after all that Atsushi would still be sitting there

turns out he actually was

To Akutagawas suprise he was still staring at the night sky, an unfinished pizza beside him

Because of the moonlight he could see tears running down Atsushi's face

For a while he just stood there, wishing he could just run up to him and hug him and never let go right as he was about to quit and run away again Atsushi turned his head to look at him

"Do you actually think I wouldn't notice if you stand there just staring at me?"

"Love is a waste of time, right?"

"Wow I know you're a dick but you come here just to break my heart twice?"

"THEN WHY CAN'T I STOP LOVING YOU?!"

Never in his life has Akutagawa Ryūnosuke felt so much in such a short time

"PLEASE STOP WITH THE BULLSHIT AKUTAGAWA YOU'RE HURTING ME! YOU DON'T LIKE ME SO LEAVE ME ALONE"

The tears wouldn't stop

"I am so sorry Nakajima Atsushi"

"Sorry?? For what?"

"Wasting your time"

"You know what? Fuck this, if you think love is a waste of time then waste it on me"

"What?"

"Aku, I love you, now you either say it back or you go"

Silence, the sound of heavy breaths, tears and the ocean in the background

It was truly a beautiful night.

a/n

well shit sorry for uh not updating and thank you so so much?? next and last chapter very soon also I didn't bother to proof read so there is a lot of mistakes thank you again bcs wtf